Darren's ego - Embrace My Culture



the buffet.


there were too many event
we grown up watching them glorify winners
and demean losers
-
in some game,
there is no winner and no loser.
-
infact
-
my life is a las vegas hilton all-you-can-eat buffet,
no one has to go hungry, no one has to be a loser.
the winner lose it all,
the loser win it all.
i contented myself with the bowl of salad.
-
it could be better for me,
if i lose.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:03 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

包菜式的溫柔


詞曲 ：dcdarren

桌上放好那些日常用品
廚里燙好的每一件外衣
還有冰箱里的巧克力
都是你放的心機

每晚勸我要早睡早起
逼我戒掉對咖啡因的癮
每封甜蜜的簡訊
都是給我的用心

要感謝你
我的寶貝
感謝你的貼心

溫柔它包圍著我
雖然一句話都不說
我的小細節 （怪脾氣）
也只有你會懂

誰能體會你對我這種
包菜式的溫柔
選擇不說出口
這沉默里的感動

溫柔的你抱著我
不管什么都對你說
因為傷心時候就只有你懂我
誰能體會你對我這種
包菜式的溫柔

輕輕對你訴說
我沉默里的感動



Postato da: DC Darren / 9:18 AM
5 watered my tree of thoughts.

Can you keep a secret?


I feel puzzled when people ask me whether i can keep a secret

If i answered yes. would you divulge your heart talk to me?
and what are the chances of people answering a no ?

so,
can i keep a secret?
there are some that remained secret until today, and will vanish with me in the grave
and there were times that i caved in and let some cats out of the bag

better tell me your secret
i could be your best listener,
better keep it to yourself
because i could be the perfect raconteur.






Postato da: DC Darren / 9:54 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

爱没有错


爱没有错
词：循宇 曲： dcdarren

雨季角落 某个你敲醒美梦
紧握回忆的手 自己走进心碎之后
轻步地走 享受刺痛的温柔
等待晴空雨中 纪念每段日落的感动

一地沉默 惊醒漂流的轮廓
长梦醒的午后 抚平每次诉说的寂寞

爱让我懂了 没错
时间歌颂着我的脆弱
爱让你懂了 没错
交错停在某个美丽的心中

爱没有错 只是我们太执着
爱没有错 只是我们搞不懂
这错过 忘了锁 拼凑了陌生朋友
复制难过 泪眼中散落

爱没有错 只是我们太冲动
爱没有错 只是没有你和我
捂住耳朵 呼吸着别人的梦
聆听曾经的我

张开了手 缅怀着继续圆梦
期待未来的我


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:51 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

attention please.


we taught ourself how to grab attention since we were young

you spill the milk on the floor
you burn the math teacher's car
you date all the popular girls in your college
by the time you reached 23,
you're an expert, an attention whore,
knowing exactly how to turn eyes to you.

but
how hard your body have to try
to win over your attention?


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:08 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

麥當當之戀


詞曲 ：dcdarren

就這么簡單
愛上了你
就這么簡單

就前幾天在麥當當的快餐店
技術上是你為我準備早點
或許丘比特在忙著換餐卷
快看清我 你未來的boy friend

多看你一眼
就算還不曾交接
仍然努力放電

多看你一眼
知道我要的情節
下一秒會出現

不想天天都汽水薯條加Big Mac
想你親手為我煮個快熟面
一見鐘情的戲只差你那一眼
快看清我 你未來的boy friend


只求你多看我一眼




Postato da: DC Darren / 2:07 PM
5 watered my tree of thoughts.

尖锐


尖锐
music lyric : dcdarren


你的话怎么那么尖锐
断绝我们再度复合的 机会
曾经深爱过谁
如今却淌着血

你的话怎么那么尖锐
或许不会有暧昧的机会
安慰你不给
刺痛我的心扉

伤人的词汇， 你要不要收回 ？


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:59 PM
9 watered my tree of thoughts.

the dry cloth.


not trying to squeeze a dry cloth for water.



ok. i tried. but it doesnt work this way.


if the mind is a piece of cloth, and creativity is water.
then i should start looking for the source.


where

is my watertap


Postato da: DC Darren / 5:50 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

want to write you a letter.


I wanted write you a letter,
but i couldnt remember what i wanted to write,

couldnt remember your address
couldnt remember your last name
and i couldnt remember what to write

so,
i folded the letter into half and keep it underneath,
so that i can continue when i remember things again.

after a very long long while,
i still couldnt remember why i wanted to write to you,
i couldnt remember why i kept the letter underneath,
couldnt remember who i wanted to write to.

couldnt remember you.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:09 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

Lunch box.


I still carry my breakfast in lunch box every morning
from big, round,square bulky boxes
just bought a compact one that is just nice to put in my laptop bag
and another green one as a gift




isnt that cute?


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:43 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i need to write something.


i need to write something
i need to write something
i need to write something
i need to write something
i need to write something
i need to write something
i need to write something write on







i am done.


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:58 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

colour.


after 22 years of uncertainties
i think i have to make up my mind and settle for a favourite color
so the next time someone asks "whats your favourite color?"
i'd be able to give a firm answer

i grew up believing that blue is my favourite colour.
like, fated to be.
i dont know where this theory came from, but
blue is the colour for boys, red is the colour for girls

i think i like white, so pure and clean
i think i like black, blends well yet so elegant
i think i like yellow, how it would stand out from other color
i think i like red, i have had too many belongings in red
i think i like purple, the color of infatuation

i guess its too hard for a gemini to decide his favourite colour.

how?


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:12 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

爛借口


music lyrics : dcdarren

車廂里的沉默 我問你怎么了
你微笑望著我 卻沒有回應我些什么
愛情快到盡頭 是不是想逃走
是你 回避我的眼眸

pre
你自私的冷漠
吹毀我的煽動

*
全都是借口 你給的
無盡的理由
再一次把我慫恿
離不開留下又痛

很爛的借口 你給的
我們的以后
你寫下全劇終
你說你愛我 可是你要走

車廂里的沉默 我終于明白了
就算你沒有說出口 我心里早有數
愛情快到盡頭 卻剩我一個人走
是我 期待你會回頭


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:16 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

Eta.




Postato da: DC Darren / 5:34 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the back of my hand.


i passed this streets for a thousand times
drove down the road over and over again

but i wouldnt say i know it like the back of my hand


because i doesn't really know much about the back of my hand.






Postato da: DC Darren / 10:36 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

fyi i play football.


hola,
i am typing this now with a sprained ankle from a futsal game.

you might not know this but i play the sport all the time.
i was a fanatic football fan
and had dreams to play in the EPL or at least make it into the Perak Youth team.

i skipped too many classes to play football in school uniform.

and this is what i get. damn.


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:47 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i'm a book person.


i hardly read anymore
but i like books.

i like the smell of books
i like the graphic on book covers
i like the scene of someone reading on the couch in a sunday afternoon
i like the way they look when they were arranged on a big bookshelf

so i thought it is fair for me to say that i am a book person.
although i don't really read anymore.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:49 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i had an very interesting topic to write on.


i had an very interesting topic to write on,
it came to my mind when i was bathing, like 15 minutes ago.
and that was the last thing i remember.

i have always been a forgetful person all my life
i need to look for my keys everytime before i go out
i lost infinite number of pens all my life
and few days ago i left my car in the office and went home without it
and same incident happened again, few days ago.

can anybody tell me how can i help my pathetic memory,
someone told me something might help,
but i have forgotten about it.

and i am writing this now because i have forgotten the topic
that i am supposed to write on.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:24 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

happy birthday.


happy birthday, darren.

i turned 23 when the clock ticked itself to 12am, on the 8th of June.

there was no birthday music playing, 1am still looked the same, the world moved on,
on the 8th of June.

and the fact that i am getting older excites me in some way.



thanks to those who remembered my birth date.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:25 AM
6 watered my tree of thoughts.

宅男告白日记.　


lyrics n music : dcdarren

wao 星期天都不去
wao 我只想待在家里
wao 动漫第八十一集
伸伸懒筋  网路游戏
快熟面充饥

wao 期待明天的来临
wao 气象台预告天晴
wao 旧巷子口的阶梯
右手转进
左边望西
我会看到你

我好想大声对你说
只能害羞 装冷漠
这样擦肩而过
你记不记得 我?

我不敢大声对你说
只能躲在背影
等下星期  我再见你
要鼓起所有的勇气
说给你听

wao 不能再这样下去
wao 甩开中分的压抑
wao 穿星期五的心情
换个发型 胸膛挺起
大步跨向你

我好想大声对你说
不再害羞 装冷漠
这样擦肩而过
你记不记得 我?

我好想大声对你说
不再躲在背影
等下星期  能再见你
会鼓起所有的勇气
请认真听

爱上你 已经四十一个星期
想和你 享同一个耳机
靠在我的肩膀看戏
要你填满我日记

我只想轻声对你说
要你害羞 装冷漠
这样眼神交错
会不会爱上 我?

我很想大声对你说
我要做你背影
要每星期  都见到你
收集你周围的空气
仍在序






Postato da: DC Darren / 9:01 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

so close to the TV.


when i was young,
i wanted to wear spectacles so much,

that i put my eyes so close to the TV,

so close to the tv

so close to the tv

so close to the tv

so close

so close.

'' '''''

'''

'




at the age of 22,
my eyesight is almost perfect.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:03 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

Another Friday.


Its friday again.

i love friday, just like everyone else 
like how everyone else would look forward to the weekend ahead
 
i despise friday,
because it reminds me how fast week by week is passing me by

friday morning, 
i am having a monday morning mood from last last last monday.

FGIFA


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:16 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i still haven't feel the pain yet.


i still haven't feel the pain yet,
when my computer crashed and all the memories went down the drain.
i lost everything.

if losing something is a sickness
and losing everything is pretty much like an incurable disease
sometimes i wondered if i am supposed to cry over it, or be dead in 2 days time?
have you ever thought that you lost everything,anyway?

but i came to know that, everything is not that important after all.

because i am still here,



and i am my everything.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:05 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

Turn off the phone.


i hate to admit that, but
for me.
it has become as much as an addiction as snacking on junks or smoking.
when the phone is turned off,
you feel like you're out of the loop.


and
start worrying about how people would worry what were we thinking about them when their text or calls are not returned


when the phone is turned off,
the world moves on.


Postato da: DC Darren / 5:44 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

LAP5723-07.


LAP5723-07 108-8
Have you ever wonder what those numbers on the box of mints mean
could be a serial number
could be the winning number when they decide to have a lucky draw later
could be meaningless

Chuah Kong Wooi
Have you even wonder what the alphabets on your identification card means
could be a mistake your parents made 23 years ago
could be a name people would always mention 23 years later
could be meaningless

could be anything else,
just like the numbers on candy box.


Postato da: DC Darren / 5:09 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

the weather is really that hot or its just me?


im holding my sweat on the tip of the glands
holding my breath
consciously knowing that another celcius would break the sweat free
and i can almost picture the cup of chilled milk beside me

evaporating

when the weather is not hot enough to kill you
chilly enough to keep you from fainting

this is the time when you do silly things like
going near the fridge not for the food
strip naked although it wouldnt help much
or fanning your self with the same hot air around you

as hot as slices of beef melting in you mouth.




Postato da: DC Darren / 11:55 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

back to the simple.


i want to back to the time when
everything was easy

now i find it very hard to do things the simplest way
like how i used to
like how
fried eggs could be easily become the tastiest food on earth


like how
untitled melodies used to play in my head
and all i had to do was to write it down

but not how i have to write melodies in my head now
just to play it out


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:06 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

actor.


someone important in my life taught me that we have to be a good actor to survive in this wild wild world
but who says, just be yourself ?

strange contradiction. but are you a good actor?

ok, i am bad actor and a good actor.

bad because of my limited facial expression,
okay,okay, limited to only two
there's only two expression, the smiley, and the "trying hard to look serious" look
that crossed any possiblities for being an actor at all

good because,
it would be near imposible to read my mind
or anticipate my next move


blessing in disguise?


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:30 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

TV.


I Switch ON the TV,

and all i could see is Advertisement.

i'm a marketing graduate,

and i can't help but to think of how the TV stations are getting paid by these corporations just by getting US to watch the craps we doesn't want to watch.

crap.

Thats why i hate the idiot box.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:43 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i explained to myself.


it really takes me some while to gather enough determination to clean my room
that explains why my room would probably be messy most of the time
until the next time i have the urge to clean it up again.

yea, excuses.

perhaps its not the lacking of determination
its just my high level of tolerance
which once and over and over again letting mess-up lingers below the limit
knowing that it would eventually touches the line
for me to decide to clean the room again.


thats more like the reason, i explained to myself.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:09 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

好運啊。


你相信好運會有用盡的一天嗎？
雖然大半輩子都是靠不錯的運氣 混到如今的
但我不時都會懷疑
尤其是當一些無緊要的小不景氣 發生在我身上

"就像今天， 這倒眉的一天"


但然後
每當好事又在次降臨
很輕易的又被它説服了自己 是世界上最好運的人

"我真的很沒志氣"

啊
好運啊 你快回來

啊
好運啊
今晚閉上眼之后 和睡去之前
知道我明天睜開眼
就會是2009年四月14號第一件發生在我身上 的好事



其實也不錯。


晚安了， 世界。



Postato da: DC Darren / 12:18 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

my coffee song.


written years ago, still one of my fav set of lyrics!


喜欢这个钟点 Cappuccino 的香味
懒洋洋的空气 还睁不开眼
这sunday 有一杯 热咖啡
才算我的 brand new day


一个人的午后 还有mocha 来相陪
若天空下起雨 就更有感觉
如果你 又能及 时出现
这一天 就太完美

pre-chorus

咖啡因在捉弄
爱上你太冲 动
Starbucks 的相遇 就像一场梦~
想见你的心情
有咖啡的 浓
我一口接一口



*
当咖啡遇 见 糖的那一天
苦涩溶化成了香甜
虽然是 黑白配
但只要 在一杯
就算缺了一秒 也会底头想念

当我遇见你的那一瞬 间
仿佛失去了味 觉
突然发现 那咖啡
都是一样的taste
只要有你在的画面
都一样的甜~*



又到了 12点 一杯 latte 来安眠
不用啤酒也能 够把我灌醉
oh Tonight 脑海里都是你
苦苦又甜甜的滋味


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:21 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

can i hear you?


i can't help but to wonder
what song is playing thru their earphones

it makes it harder to guess
when
they have the same straight face

that doesn't match any genre of music.













please enlighten me.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:00 AM
5 watered my tree of thoughts.

routine.


you woke up this morning at the same time with the same alarm tone,
after the same sun rose at the same side,
dragged your feet off the bed the same way,
had the same breakfast
do all the same thing you need to
just to walk out the same old exit of your same old house.

u don't like routines, do you
because i don't

you walk the streets that you'll have to walk for years to come
strangers, they have the same old face
you're sick with the same paper work,
dealing with the old stubborn boss,
waiting for 21 one day to end,
waiting for the same thing.

you call the same boy friend, the same number,
he pickup the phone, with the usual "hello"
the familiar voice and tone, the same topic that you'll usually chat about
the same warmth thru the phone.
you're happy with it, as always.

i don't like routines, do you?

you lived through the same script that life has written for us
you walked the same old path,
you end up in the coffin just like everyone else would.

how scary, routines.

how about waking up without the alarm,
fire your boss that pay you for the time of your life,
pop up infront of her door for a lil sweet suprise.

why is everyone doing the same old thing.?


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:17 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

not to convince you im a freak.


not to convince you im a freak,
but i had double personalities
once an anti social but now a social-bee wanna-be
doesn't read much but act like a geek
if you found me on the street lonely
that'd be as good as striking the lottery
and but yeah, i don't have a roomie.

hey, not trying to convince you i'm a freak
i have a tidy life but the room is always messy
most of the things have been messy anyway.
you might find me funny, you might find me arty, you might find me creepy
hey, speak to me and decide where to put me

jeez.

not to convince you i'm a freak,
but im not your ordinary meat.


hope you'll find me.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:45 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

struggle.


I think it is time,
to quit internet.

but i'm typing this on the internet,and without internet, no one would be able to read this.
but my company operate on internet, without internet my company would close down.
but there were so many friendships kept alive with the help of internet.

but then again, i hate the feeling of addiction
but then again, everything little thing in internet seems so unreal like it would vanishes the any time
but then again, the more social life i have on the line, the less i have in the real world.

it took me two days to decide that it is imposible to quit internet.
but it would be great if i can cut down my personal time on it.
i'm not sure if this is the right thing to do,
but i'm sure there's nothing wrong about it.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:33 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

coffee song playing.


Chilly weather,
view of the busy town,
and a cup of old town white coffee makes it all complete.

what a good start of the day!


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:33 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the present.


sometimes it could be scary just to think about how
how you would regret in the future with the things that you had done in the past,
which is the present.
you laughed at your own hairstyle in the old photo albums
you could have a lil more courage to talk to that girl
you should have spent a lil more time talking to your brother

10 years after today,
you might regret for not doing something more constructive than reminiscing the past that you could never turn back to.

the scariest part is that you will never know what is the right thing to do now until the present became the past and the past is irreversible.
that somehow someday you'll look back and feel remorseful for something.
it is knowing that this cycle will never end.


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:49 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

d.c.













-i risked my life for this pic

A simple combination of alphabets, symbols, or numbers
has no meaning to the passer by.
but it could mean something special to some people

lovers like to make up their own abbreviations to communicate
they use their birthdate for the password in facebook

"7" means forever...

there's no black and white
you defined it yourself where no one else would know

and when those combination came together
you'd know it represents some part of you


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:42 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

should i quit listening to my own tracks.


while driving, i like to listen to CDs instead of the radio stations
is this a sign that i am isolating my self from the outer world?
yes i am gemini, but the everchanging trait doesn't apply on my music preference
tell me whats on the radio today?, please?

how could i say that i was open to the world?
when the half of the population were listening to the weekly top hits
and i'd probably playing a single track for the 233 times, this week
its like choosing storybook over newspaper
your own room over an holiday
memories over a runaway


i was left behind by the world
because i left the world behind


should i quit listening to my own tracks?


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:08 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

how to talk to anyone.


talking to strangers make me feel good
i just spoke to the stranger in the gym
we started off with ourselves
went out herself
and ended with ourselves

the fact that we're always in the flood of strangers
why not try talk to the lonely old man next table
the shy kid that you caught hiding from your eye contacts
and the lady heading to 7th floor

it used to be a daunting task for me
and now,
i think im pretty close to what i always wanted to be!

OKOK, i admit.
i secretly read the book "how to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere"
by Larry King.


...




Postato da: DC Darren / 9:57 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

Happy Valentines, 86400.


86400
Music : Darren Chuah
Lyrics : Darren Chuah
Arrangement : Darren Chuah

某某某日期
某某某一个天晴
大约四时二十一
只剩下我和你

等了半世纪
花了半秒爱上你
三百六十五天里
我只想靠近

多几厘米
地心引力 把我推向了你

怎么今天总是想到你
自动浮现在我脑海里
吃的 听的 看的 和想的
都和你有关系

怎么今天总是想到你
会不会有一点太频密
八万六千四百个点滴
都勾着你人青影

24／7
每当送你回家去
油门踏得特别轻
多几分钟看你

27度C
太热是我还是因为你
不知道是不是天时人和地利
你突然靠得好靠进

能不能再多几厘米
地心引力 把我吸进了你

Happy Valentines !


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:55 AM
8 watered my tree of thoughts.

breakfast.


do you know that breakfast is an important part of my life?
for the past few years i think i have not skipped the first meal of the day













breads, cornflakes, cheese, milk are the things i hate, but have been eating almost everyday for the past few years
if i got (un)lucky or time, i might have some tasty delicious unhealthy food, sometimes

i dont know if its the metabolism, or the health consciousness, or its merely the trend that i want to swim against

but breakfast has been an important part of my life.

im something between a glutton and a healthfreak who checks on the nutritional value on food label.

good enough to explain my healthy habit.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:33 AM
5 watered my tree of thoughts.

go!


i just thought that
you dont have to be good in anything to be an artist.

whether you're metaphorically screwed or grammatically disabled
or colorblind
or grown up a tone deaf

passion can kick you off and keeps you on,
with the correct mindset
lil creativity would bring you further.

grab your brushes,
there you go!


Postato da: DC Darren / 5:35 PM
5 watered my tree of thoughts.

手机有时不接 (You're an arsehole)


Music : Darren Chuah
Lyrics : Darren Chuah
Arrangement : Darren Chuah
Producer : : Darren Chuah
Singer : : Darren Chuah
Backup Vocal : Darren Chuah
Backup Vocal arrangement : Darren Chuah
Guitar : Darren Chuah
Bass : Darren Chuah
Mixing Engineer : Darren Chuah
Recording Engineer : Darren Chuah
Hair Stylist : : Darren Chuah

手机有时不接
信息总是敷衍
有多少天没看你的脸
是我刚刚发现
还是已经半年
你是冰淇淋却已不甜
偶尔会想想我们从前

好想要听你说 你不爱我
看看我会不会真的难过
很想听你说你不想我
让我尝一尝那种滋味
你不爱我的那种滋味

约会太过boring
你只顾 sms
怎么都不看我一眼
明白 是你已经改变
爱去年已冻结
时间麻醉了疼的感觉
你这冰淇淋已经不甜

就请你快快说 你不爱我
看看我或许会有些难过
请你你快快说 你不想我
让我尝一尝那种滋味
我想会很痛快的滋味

是我 是我
想离开你 却又不想说出口
是我 是我
太过懦弱
就求求你 能不能说出口

求你快快说 你不爱我
"that's right you're an arsehole"
听你说你不爱我
我真的没一点感觉
爱不爱你只隔一条线
爱不爱我都没有分别
早点分开会好过一点


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:20 AM
3 watered my tree of thoughts.

on productivy i.


research has shown that every worker spent an average 2 hours on ineffective activities during their office hours.
people like me contributed alot to the number, especially on days like this.

like how?

have i told you that my boss caught me red-handed on facebook
it felt like the toilet walls suddenly collapse when you're doing your business and suddenly you find yourself in the busy street.

because being darren there will always be reasoning(excuse) for every little action i take
so i just thought that the reason for the two hours of unproductivity was due to the other 6 questionable productive hours.

sometimes i wish someone up there would just block my internet access to anywhere else
so that i could do my job better.

for now i'd just blame them for giving me too much flexiblity.



Postato da: DC Darren / 12:04 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

there were too many things that i need to concentrate in.


there were too many things that i need to concentrate in,
just to end up losing focus in each and everyone of them.

unpressed shirt and tunes that were not in the playlist,
the alarm rang at 7.45 just to miss the box of cereal i bought sometime ago.
i inserted my key into the door knob and stumbled out the door,
nobody watered the pathetic plant because its not their job.
smiles in an envelope
ever busy traffic
and the chocolate cake.

i have too many things that im supposed to concentrate in,
thats why i lost focus to each and everyone of them.











Photo frm : Umarklite


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:47 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

on silent.


im starting to hate ringtones or whatever tones whenever someone's calling
and i don't know why.

its okay for me to pick up calls at any hours,
i'm making this statement with the risk of not getting any call from my friends ever again
maybe its the situation where the phone is whining for attention like a whore got me annoyed

nevertheless, i have to conclude that i might not be able to make it without her.



ah the phone is ringing on silence again.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:01 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

frozen banana.


i left the banana frozen in the fridge

i wouldn't find out how chilly banana would taste like

i could have just ate it just like that

carefully peeled its skin off

hm, it tasted like ice cream

banana flavored.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:14 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

a poem.


my cat on the mat
and she's getting mad
she's very hungry but im still on my bed
snuggling with my blanket
holidaying in hawaii waiting for sunsets


i wake up in the middle of the night and change my underpants
i dont have a pet nor mat

sad.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:06 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

08/09.


if i could summarize my 2008 into one word




i would not.

and i decided to throw away all the "resolutions", they never pan out anyway
i haven't even publish the post i wrote for new year 2008

did you lost the weight?
did you stopped smoking?
read that book?

NOs.

New Year’s resolutions are a way of convincing yourself that you deserve a brand new start after a shitty year. they rarely become reality,

so get rid of them now.

Happy New year my friends.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:13 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

the best singer in street 14,cathalucan.


can i just close my eyes and ears
choose not to see and listen

if i say that every sight of them and every note they sing could cut a piece of me away and sink my confidence inches by inches



leave me alone!

even i might not be able to beat the rest just by being myself.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:37 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

Merry X'mas.


My Christmas wish this year
is to have snow flakes on my shoulder
people and presents around the corner
and more food

















on next Christmas

who allow us to make wishes on Christmas anyway?

Merry Christmas!


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:22 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

Please support local music.






















because when we have no choice
This is the line we use to get people to listen

this is how bad the situation is, and its getting worse, i wonder if you realized,too
when music meets reality
we'll have to succumb to the cruel world

gravity always win.
it always will.
but still we tried everyway to fight that
even by using an excuse that wasn't even supposed to be the reason why they should listen to you


i dont know bout you, and whats your prime intention
but im selfishly doing it for my self,

hehe.


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:53 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

白日梦里的剧情


词曲编 dcdarren
Download this song

躺在草原 上看星星
肩靠肩 山顶赏夜景
你轻声说 好美丽
你的侧脸 更美丽

自导自演 我的电影
凭空想象 所有场景
Paris铁塔 那场吻戏
女主角 当然是你

好想要靠近
好想要靠近
好想把你 拥入我的怀里

好想要靠近
就算只能想象而已
我白日梦里的剧情
想说给你听

梦境吞没 我的理性
明知虚幻 却不愿清醒
全都因为 梦的是你
怎能叫我 不着迷

好想要靠近
好想要靠近
好想把你拥入我的心里

好想要靠近
就算只能想象而已
我白日梦里的剧情
只说给你听


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:47 PM
6 watered my tree of thoughts.

simple plan to fall asleep.


i hate to see the clock at 1.18 am
this is when i know i am not supposed to look at the clock or any other things around or outside the room or do any other unimportant things on any other place other than the bed
when i knew i needed sleep no matter how i dislike it it wouldn't change the fact that 1.19am supposed to be bedtime for me

i'd take my time to notice that i am actually holding the urge to let myself refrain myself from falling asleep.

at 1.22am


I'd draw up a short plan for myself to off the room lights at 1.30am and lie onto the bed on the same minute. that plan will exclude any music intake and it is as simple as a 3 step close

-blank your mind,
-close your eyes,
-its time to say goodbye.

at 1.30am

I'd make the final decision to go with the plan,
goodnight.

firm.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:17 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

every sip.


trust me,
every sip of you that i take
makes me feel like a junkie.














who would want to be a junkie over something if they had a choice.


i had a choice,

now i don't.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:03 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

slim.


what are the chances of bumping into someone somewhereelse
in this small small world?

chances are slim,
slimmer than paper and thinner than air
but it always happened.

all the time.


why?


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:46 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

anyway.


Anyway,
i shouldnt have start a paragraph this way,
but it doesn't matter anyway
and i could easily end this with anyway, anyway.


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:00 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

waltz of eruption.


i have warned my self over and over again,
that this thing, something might explode
if i still not let it out

but who says that i know the whats the maximum capacity?
179 tracks
humming and mumbling
that has yet turned into masterpieces.

let me out,
give me a pen and paper
let me out,
bring my guitar and recorder


before i erupt with broken tunes.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:23 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

badly lucky.


bad things stopped happened to me
after a strings of unfortunate events
i lost my way in the city
i wasted so much times waiting
i was soaked in pressure
and the insides of the pau spilled all over my shirt.

its over!

luck will eventually fall on me again isn't it ?

i have always been a lucky guy,
just because bad luck chose to come at once shot.


today, the first good thing happened to me,
and i'm oh so positive on weeks to come.



im a lucky asshole.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:31 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

Bye bye,


written by : dc ,ivan
-
要等的车开走了
落单了留我一个
its okay
告诉自己会回来的
-
你开口说要走了
你怎么那么舍得
oh baby
我想你不会再回来了
-
怎么了 怎么了 你变了
怎么了 我票都买了
我们的。

-
爱已不在 就沉默离开
我明白 或许应该看开
永远的车辆 来不及上
只是留下遗憾
-
你早已离开 我还在徘徊
不明白 你或许不回来
握不住的爱 我不勉强
至少能调头来 说byebye


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:04 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

i'm not kelvin.


my name is not kelvin.
-
how did you feel the moment when you decided to call me kelvin? was that out of impulse and reflexes?
-
my mum and aunt nearly named me anthony 14 years ago.
-
how did you feel the moment when you can see from my face that you might got the wrong name? might not.
-
there were times that i hated my name, but she said that she could guess my name's darren just by looking at me from the first sight.
-
how did you feel the moment when you realized you should called me darren instead of kelvin?
-
"i'm darren, im not kelvin"


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:01 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

spinning.


the fan has no reason to stop spinning,
the clock has no reason to stop spinning clockwise,too.
my mind was wandering nearby and it almost stopped spinning
-
-
so many little things are spinning all the time
-
in this stagnant afternoon.


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:28 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

tag.


how good if there were tags on every object we see,
like a sandwich is a sandwich.
by then we would know even a sandwich does not look like a sandwich.
-
how good if there were tags with some details on every object we see,
like a sandwich, a garden sandwich with raw lettuces and tomatoes with smokey tuna and thousand island
so we wouldn't have to guess what's inside of it.
and the fact that we wouldn't be able to see.

-

-
What would be your tag.
-

-

-
we need a big tag.
-

-

-

-
we're complicated.



Postato da: DC Darren / 12:50 PM
3 watered my tree of thoughts.

fridge.


have you ever wonder how would it be like
to be caught in the fridge.
i love the fridge, as a child.
it has always been one of my favorite door to open.
but i just thought that it wouldnt be that fun to get caught in there,
after you finish the chocolates and cookies mum put in it,
and after you got sick skiing on ice cubes and playing with snowballs making snowmen
and sometimes you'd miss getting away the 34'c by hiding inside your room.
-
i guess the fridge isn't a good spot for a runaway.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:45 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

你走了.


編曲作詞作曲 ：dc
-
有沒有行李
是什麽心情
是不是坐在靠窗看風景.
那裏是目的地
還是要流浪去
知不知道我在想你
-
是什麽事情讓你下決心恨心
丟下養了多年的金魚
微波爐我還未學會開啓
晚餐該吃些什麽東西
-
你走了 到我不懂的位置
用最輕鬆的方式
沒有溫度的信紙
告訴我你當時很理智
-
你走了 誰都來不及制止
像個任性的孩子
帶走孤單的鑰匙
忘了為我解開 才告辭
-
你沒有行李
沒什麽心情
也沒有坐在靠窗看風景
你沒有目的地
也不想流浪去
你不知道我在想你
-
還未告訴你
孤單的夜裏
記得聼聼寫給你的歌曲
你什麽都沒有帶走 也沒留下什麽
我發現時候 你已離開我


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:54 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

so that nobody would realize that i procrastinated i.


could you wind my watch without letting me know?
so that nobody would realize that i procrastinated?
my subconscious mind would believe that it is the actual time
although i might aware that it is not.
-
but the sight of the longer arm of the clock might be able to cheat me
to take less time on the bed waiting for the second alarm
to not to read on the throne
to get to the car with a brisk pace instead of lazy back
-
what time is it now?
i rather believe the false time on my left wrist
please, tell me im ahead of the actual time,
so that no one would realize that i procrastinated.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:57 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

me and my guitar.


these tend to happen when i carry the guitar around
-
the security guard would be very surprised that i even have a guitar
the auntie in the lift would ask me whether i just came back from a guitar lesson
the passer-by would stare at my bag like they suspect there's a M-16 in it
-
i start to wonder how do i look beside my guitar?
is it very much like a Seal and Heidi's awkward combination
or i simply doesn't look like a guitar person?
-
how to tell them,
how to tell them that i know guitar a lil more than that?


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:43 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

You.


You
Written and performed by : dc
Music Arrangement by : Flz dc

You
painted blue the sky
rose and shone some morning
blanket up my nights
-
You
live in every corner
and every steps i travelled
would lead me back to you, youyou you you.
*
It's all about you
the proses on the window
every note i sang of
as im craving for every bit of you
-
I'm thinking bout you
as i watch the raindrops
with nothing else to dream of
cause' every little things i see
reminds me of you, you, you, you.
*
*
You painted blue the morning
rose and shone some nights
blanket up my sky


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:52 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

dear hamburgers.


i like to eat hamburgers, i really do.
i always have the urge to write about something i like,
therefore i'd like to dedicate my 228's post to my favorite food - hamburgers.
-
i just thought that it is one of the greatest invention, after tomato ketchup.
-
it is one of the few food that you could eat with only your left hand while driving,
and end up reaching home with a filled stomach.
-
it is one of the simplest dishes a bachelor can pick from a recipe
and later tell his mom that he can freaking cook.
-
if you ask me to fill up biodata information , like how primary students were asked to,
i'd write "Hamburgers"
-
at the "My Favorite Food" column.
hehe.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:57 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

vintage.


i liked vintage stuffs, too.
they implied a higher value as they age,
since the theory of time is inevitable
there's no reason to swim against the current.
-
-
-
all of us tried to. no?
-
you painted your house
i polished my guitar
she's using wrinkle-decrease serum on her face
-
-
-
it seemed like scratches can be the best expression of some belongings
like ur daddy's jacket or his old car
-
it seemed like imperfection is the only way to define who we were.


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:54 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

a band.


would you be my drummer,
could you play the piano,
and how about the keyboard and the guitar frets?
don't forget the bass
a sexaphone would be great
if your voice's sweet maybe we could duet
and a violin would be icing on the chocolate mud cake
-
lets come together and make music,
i hope its not too late,
not too late.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:01 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

where are we going from here?


drift and sail
a voyage without destination
do you call that a thrill?
or a surge of uncertainty
-
we brought the map and the navigator
we studied the knots and different types of wind that might come upon
we knew well that we're going to get there someday
-
but
where are we going from here?
-
-
follow the stars and the ocean swells
pray to god.


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:48 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

growing old.


if you had to pick an age to be for your whole life,
knowing that you would just stay that age and never grow older,
what age would you pick?
-
would you pick 4,
so the only thing you have to worry about is how to get your mum's attention
-
would you pick 12,
to experience falling in love for the first time again
-
would you pick 18,
so that you can live in your own world and persue your own crazy dreams, forever
-
would you pick 22,
so that you would always be able to sneak a couple of minutes off work to read a friend's blog?
-
how about 30,
so that you can always tell everyone that you're only 30, and doesn't want to get married yet
-
would you pick, any number,
understand that you wont be able to grow old with your loved ones...?
-
i think i'd just succumb to the nature.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:52 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

a sudden downpour.


a sudden downpour,
who forgot their umbrella?
but who could ever predict the weather so unpredictable

so they forgot their umbrella.
leaving their mood soaking wet

in a sudden downpour.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:29 PM
3 watered my tree of thoughts.

i still havent found what im looking for ii.


Things that i planned to buy
1. GPS Navigator.
2. face moisturizer.
3. wrinkle free slacks.
4. multi-vitamins.
5. wireless broadband.
-
Things that ive lost recently
1. time with the guitar
2. my old leather shoe
3. my old voice.
4. Faith in close ones
-
Things that i accidentally got
1. kensington's wireless high definition laser mouse
2. a job - first salary and industry knowledge
3. post-card and letters from friends
4. lesson on how fast people could change their mind.
5. pressure from work (that lasted for approximately 6 hours and 44 minutes)
6. Lucky.
-
Things that im still looking for
1. t-shirt with the word DC.
2. A place to sing, and get paid for that
3. Direction in the city
4. Personal space.
5. inspiration to write, anything, just anything.
6. My direction.
-
i did this one year ago, i have to check with myself again. everyhting remained the same, so many wants and needs, so few were fullfilled, and we keep losing things that are (un)important to us along the way.
-
we're still the same,in some way. but at the same time i feel lucky and grateful for those things that came my way.
-
i hereby invite you to do a spotcheck on yourself, have you found what you were looking for?


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:53 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

10,000.


To everyone reading this.
Scroll to the top of the page, see if you're the 10,000th visitor.
-
drop me a message
winner is entitled to _________________
.
.
.
an empty promise.


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:50 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

i.magination.


i'm a person with great imagination,

-

-

-

-

i can put myself in any situation that i had never been to

which means that my writing might not be made up from what i experienced

that is almost equaled to = i made things up.

-

if your imagination do runs wild once in a while

mine would be free fall from the sky and roller coaster ride

-

imagine everyone has the same face, then we'll have to distinguish them by their voice tone, human would be more sensitive by then

imagine those people run naked on the street with tattoo of my name on their back, why are they running?

imagine the earth loses its gravity and everyone start falling leftwards, i can hold on to the traffic- light-pole on the sideway

imagine all of us without the sense of imagination, we would have to watch a video to picture what i just said. who's gonna make that video?

-

how to imagine us losing the sense of imagination?

you can do that by imaginating yourself stop imaginating you imaginating imagination.

-

-

-

-

i'm a person with great imagination, i imagined.


Labels:



Postato da: DC Darren / 9:30 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

mirrors.


i like mirrors, since dont know when,
it fullfills my narcissism, and completes me.
im goin to spend 1/12 of my life looking in the mirror.
i need to know myself.

i hate mirrors, they are liars.
arent the darren i see in mirror,
supposed to be the darren you see with your eyes?
i need to know what you see.

thats not the way,
but
too bad,
mirror's all i got.

Labels:



Postato da: DC Darren / 5:54 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

squirrel.


the squirrels like rainy days, i guess
they live in the concrete city
in a tree beside their home, i guess
-
you love rainy days, yes
you live in the concrete city
in a home beside their tree, yes.
-
-
you're a squirrel, you play in the rain.


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:09 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

b-day.


what is a bad day to you?
-
the day you woke up late and late for work
the day u ran off key on the stage
the day you planned the best vacation just to find out that he couldnt make it
or the day you waited for her at the bus stop you both supposed to meet but she didn't come?
-
ah, i don't know how to describe my bad day.
i left the house with excitement
but i turned off the lights and went to bed with dissapointment
-
if i could replay the day again, just like a song,
oh, i would press "pause" on 0:07
if only i knew whats on 4:17


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:54 AM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

pictures.


Picture.
-
phone call in the busy street
pot plant beside the 14" screen
blank stare in the lift
donut in the traffic jam
aroma of coffee in the office
3'3 on my left wrist
wireless in starbucks
me in formal dress
fake smiles in chilly conference room
-
-
-
you get the picture?


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:28 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

words.


If everyone has superpowers in them
mine would be mind-reading.
there are more than 600,000 words in the dictionary
but we still run out of words.
but communication is always beyond words, isn't it?
i can read minds, im almost certain
but
i reached a point where i couldn't read my own.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:05 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

N.


its 5 minutes to midnight, and im writing this on my bed because the night is too bright for me to fall asleep.

i cant fall asleep nicely if there's any source of lights, u know.
the sound of the ticking clock is my lullaby,
but it wont get me off to sleep. u know.



the sky is lighting up too soon, u know,

the stargazing session is not over yet,
we havent even finish counting the stars. glitter.

can i chase the blanket?
can i chase the blanket with shiny twinkle little stars?

countless stars, nothing shines upon,
shortest night.
.,
chasing stars.
.,
;'.
.
listen, hush.
moonlight falling on the ground.
good night, sleep tight.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:54 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

intangible.


intangible.
what is that.
what is something when you can't see or touch it.
there are so many things that words cant describe.
more than meet the eyes.
money cant buy.
a substance everyone carries,
a possession everyone's looking for.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:29 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

9,5.


im on the verge of falling into a routine
routine makes you forget what you are supposed to remember

i want to fall asleep with the guitar
want to give the little girl in yellow 5 bucks
want to hear "im fine" from many people no matter they're doing fine or not.

im trying not to forget you, me.
altho the one who appear in the mirror now is telling me
"hey you're better off seeing me"

trying so hard to remember without me realizing it.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:44 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

shortcut.


is there a shortcut to the place i want to go?
no, nothing abstract here
i know u thought u knew what i meant but what u thought u understood is not what im trying to tell you

can i take tat route?
ah, with an extra mile to go
can i go that way?
ah, but its a sloppy hill

i'll have to be there anyway,
like it or lump it.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:52 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

yellow.


Dream.

Started the day i picked up the guitar

ended abruptly the day i received confirmation from the company,
pinch me to waking.

it was just a dream afterall,
like those you'll forget between the moment the sunshine falls on you
and when u brushes ur teeth.

but the beautiful thing is you'll never know what's coming up.
hehe.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:34 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

creature.


Butterfly
flit and fluttered by
flew out of my sight
i study you to many whys
why you glow even there wasn't any lights?

sweet creature,
oh, flit
and fluttered by.

Labels:



Postato da: DC Darren / 10:42 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the city.


Its weird,
when u have the best view of the city from the 16th floor's balcony
but you dont feel like you're on the top of the world
or even... on top of... the city

arent we suppose to feel like the world belongs to us
say, when we're on the moon?
?
no


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:53 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

There.


if i ever have the choice to choose between
landing on the moon or
setting my foot on THAT stage to sing
i'll choose the latter.

hehe. crazy dreams, but i really wanna be there.

although i knoe the probability is slimmer than mac Air.


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:20 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

In My Dreams.


Written by : Blaken, Jian, Dc.

Download this song:http://www.savefile.com/files/1641099

I didn’t know if we would last forever
you leaned on my heart
and whispered to me
“Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Cos’ love won’t last too long”

I don’t know what you’d be without me
But I do know that come what may
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna feel the wind of your breath

I’m staring at my future
But it’s hollow cos you’re not there
I hold on to a piece of our time
I need you right by my side
I wanna be in your sight
I’ll see you in my dreams
I’ll kiss you in my dreams

Don’t run from me
Don’t hide your soul from me

I will climb mountains
Dive ocean deep
Just to reach where you are now
Just to have you in my arms

But I know, babe
I’ll only see you in my dreams


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:49 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

Time.


there's something very important

that i would like you to remember,

because it is so important

and to prevent u from forgetting

i want you to write it on your hand



"Do Not Write On Your Hand"


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:10 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

to all the things in my room


are they sleeping ?
when the lights were off
and the moon lights were on
i wonder if their day equaled to our night
like the pillows and blanky that served me at night
but then my guitar might hate me so much for waking it up at the wrong time
or they didnt need any sleep,
just like the clock hanging on the wall
or they might be sleeping all the time
like the mirror.

to all the things in my room.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:55 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

2.59 - virtual baby


Virtual baby

http://www.youtube.com/v/ODF84_2SgSM - listen to this song.
Written by : Darren Chuah
Music Arrangement : Darren Chuah
Performed by: Darren Chuah


I don’t know how do it feels to be close to you
But there’s something burning between us
We don’t need anyone to entertain us
Hours and hours, I got you.
I cant see but I can feel


I’d walk a thousand miles to be with you
I fear that thousand miles will never do
Seemed so close yet so far
You’re so perfectly unreal
You’re my virtual baby

I don’t know
What do it takes to be close to you
But I know im gonna make it
May sound absurd
But im so into this love
Drown myself into ur love
Im so addicted to you
I cant see but I can feel

Touched my heart
In a hush
Everyone’s guessing hard
Who’s in love?


I’d walk a thousand miles to be with you
I fear that thousand miles will never never do
thousand miles to be with you
who says that thousand miles will ever do
Seemed so close yet so far
You’re so beautifully unreal
You’re my virtual baby



Postato da: DC Darren / 10:28 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

on holiday.


im jobless, unempolyed
im not slacking, not at all
just enjoying out of life that i dont have to pay for
i discovered the art of cooking
i spent more and more time with the guitar
i painted the town,
i did some pencil sketching!
i ate alot and exercised even more.
i met some friends that nearly became my strangers
i hated some questions like " have u found a job?"
i missed the things that i've lost.

aw, how long is this gonna last.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:22 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

the 8th of June.


this date might not mean anything to you
but to me it is something special
just like a song that meant more than a song to some people
and just like how other ordinary day could mean something special
like the 10th of june, mother's day, or a goodfriday.
and holiday.


but thanks to those who remembered to wish. i turned 22 and i feel better and better each day, im on my way to my peak.

happy birthday to me!


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:15 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

you.


you, is one of my favorite word.
cause 'you' is a word we include in almost every sentence we speak.
and the fact that we use the word you for an average of 122 times perday.
you, can be beautiful, like when it is used in 'i love you'
or can be vulgar , like "you bastard"

'you' is the word we cannot avoid.
you understand what i trying to say?


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:17 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

back from leave.



when was the last time u left the world behind
i know, its not possible
the goldfishes might be starving at home
people who couldn't make it but u wish they were here
and 347 other little thoughts
that might wake u up when u nearly fell asleep on the air mat
in the middle of the sea
or under the starry skies

but for some moment somewhere under some part of some fluffy clouds
i thought i could really leave everything behind.


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:04 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

goodbyes.


i don't know what feeling is this
but it is definitely bitter,
only bitter, nothing sweet.

like
the first day we attended kindergarten without our mums
the time we left our home for National Service
or the first time in life we moved out from our hometown for the uni

parting is nothing cz
we're already get used to it since don't-know-when
like away from our parents for months
or a distance relationship where we don't get to see each other
or a best friend that we've lost touch for months and years

i think the thing that pokes the heart
isn't distance,
but having to hear goodbyes
like we're never gonna meet again.

damnit,
not a good time to be emo cz its the trend now,
but i hate goodbyes.
i really do.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:41 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

rush, by ferrush. (ferras):P




I know you're sleeping
I wish you were right here
'Cause my bed's so empty
I'd hold you so close dear
And I sang my song to you
Your smile was priceless
What else can I do?

I'm a junkie over you

It's a rush
I can't explain
Like you shot something
Crazy into my veins
And I'm ten feet
Off the ground
And I don't want
To come down

Is it me
Or is everything spinning
I'm wide awake
But I must be dreaming
It's like
You're some kind of drug
Try to catch my breath
And see
If I'm still breathing
Touch my heart
And make sure
It's beating
It's like
I'm falling in love


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:55 PM
5 watered my tree of thoughts.

vege.


i never really liked vegetables
there was once in my lifetime
i boycotted every green colored food
i had phobia for long beans because my aunt forced me to eat them 10 years ago

but now for the sake of my health
i'll try to eat my greens as much as i can
persuading myself that the tiny portion will still benefit me in the slightest way

convincing darren
that the yuckier it is,
the healthier it'll get.


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:42 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

clown.


what happens when the clown is out of joke
funny gestures are not funny anymore
failed to amuse you
even in his colorful costumes and makeup

u forgot how effortlessly
he could replace your frown with a smile
and how did he used to put up
cottons and candies in your sky

depressed patient in disguise.
well disguised.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:19 PM
10 watered my tree of thoughts.

do i have to blog about mothers day?


i know the sweetest words
i can make the best lines from them

but i have never given any to my mum

maybe next year?

:(


happy mothers day.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:52 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

liar.


we all hate lies
but we tend to lie
this is like Darren who dislikes the mango (another fruit)
but love to drink the mango juice from "The Only Mango Juice" in Portuguese Settlement

the only good thing about lying is it can be good or bad
lying can be harmless,
like some dude who boast about his savings
or some chick who lied to everyone including herself about her weight

it is just another voice resembled with our vocal chords
and uttered through our mouth
sometimes lying is way too easy
its like turning ur head to the left side and twisting ur fingers
lying is a reflex, always
its like avoiding a punch or pulling back from boiling water

there were so many reasons to lie
but not many reasons not to
that is why i lied,
you lied,
we lied. :)



Postato da: DC Darren / 10:27 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

apple.


this is why i don't like fruits.

it is red in color,
yes it is, obviously.


but why on earth it tasted sourish ?



but i gave a bite anyway,
and ergh,
it still tasted sour.


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:51 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

9562 miles, and hand in hand.


distance is a cold blooded killer
she can be as huge as the diameter of the globe
or as tiny as a bacteria between her and his skin
but no matter how,
she is still a powerful blackhole
that will suck anything apart
break the tightest bond,
it will sink the most precious or strongest ships

distance,
is more than physics and calculation of forces
distance,
drifted us apart.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:01 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

green.


so close
every grass and leaf and tree witnessed
the fall.

ever wonder why the voices of the crickets and insects
never pushes us away to the city
but the voices of engines
always push us to runaway from it?

ok maybe its just me,
my idea of life.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:00 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

the curiousity killed the cat.


hey
keep up the pace
i'm already in a maze
digging my own grave
searching for secrets at the forbidden place

i know its a trap
and
theres an easier way out somewhere
but i wouldn't want to escape

i'd give up nine lives
to witness the last piece of this puzzle
with my own eyes.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:50 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

4am's mushroom soup.


whats wrong with me?
i always smell food in the middle of the night
i should be lying on the bed now, not sitting in front of the desktop
the theory of hunger might relate itself to my weird situation
or my imaginative senses has gone too far
or both of them somehow have significance relationship with each other

or

someone's cooking somewhere.

yes, must be. and i smell mushroom soup.


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:17 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

in that bottle.


there's a bottle of sand on my table
sand that i took from the beach of Lang Tengah sometime ago
from time to time I'll have the urge to open it up
but i didn't.

inside that small bottle
there are,
sea shells,
white sand,
the air of Lang Tengah,
and a breath of freedom.
hey, i own a piece of that beautiful place,
in a bottle.

i think i'll open it up someday
someday when i really need a vacation
while i'm tied to a underpaid job that doesn't allow me to take leave.

i'll open it up someday,
someday when i really need to runaway, even for a few second
from the prison of life.


someday!


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:44 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

gimme a minute.


download this song

music lyrics : dc darren

继续被动
还是主动
我还想不通
而你的脸孔
塞满我思念的每一秒钟


被动
还是不动
我假装不小心
留下的蛛丝马迹
要你知道我
早已早已
不停不停
想念你


等了多久还等不到你
什么时候你才会靠近
怕你却要你 看穿我
若隐若现的真心

能不能别这样等下去
就快失去爱你的勇气
我决定 给你轻声细语
悄悄的说 我爱你

太沉默 怕失去你
太直接 又伤感情
怎么做 怎么说
你才体谅我的心情

p.s: this song is written in a girl's point of view. did i describe it correctly ?


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:51 AM
6 watered my tree of thoughts.

runaway.


dated : april 15th

the craziest thoughts crossed my mind
and now they are
chased away to the logical side of my brain

have you ever?
im almost so sure you did.
have you ever?
wanted them to come back again, once in awhile?

because deep inside, you subconsciously wanted to run away.
like how i ran away.


to you.


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:00 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

48.


stripped away from language and words
what else do i have left?

less than 10 words uttered in 48 hours
yet
i have never been so expressive
with what i wanted to tell
and people have never been so attentive
to every single thing i tried to tell

i guess human can be more intimate
without speaking a word
if we return to point zero and given a second chance,
how would we communicate then?


perhaps i should stop talking instead .


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:09 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

i've decided not to talk for the next 48 hours.


你的微笑 是种毒药
music&lyrics词曲： Darren Chuah蔡康伟
download this song


喜欢看你
浅浅的微笑
我忘了晚餐 喝水都很饱

不知不觉 渐渐戒不掉
能不能把你
藏在我口袋里

想不到想不到你的嘴角
有想像不到的力量
怎么办 不要想 你太多 太罗嗦
我已逃不掉

你的微笑 是种毒药
加速我心跳
但却又甜得像巧克力蛋糕
抗拒不了情愿上钓

你的微笑 是种毒药
我已服下了
已无可救药
就算快死掉
至少我能死在
你的微笑
*

怎么办怎么办 你的嘴角
有想像不到的力量
怎么办 你又在望着我 对我笑
我想我再逃不掉
你的微笑 是种毒药
停止我心跳
但却又甜得像巧克力蛋糕
飞蛾扑火 投怀送抱
你的微笑 是种毒药
我已服下了
已无可救药
就算快死掉
至少我能死在~
你的微笑


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:13 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

tomorrow is the day when ill wake up without coughing.


chinese yucky medicine
western pills and syrup
honey and cinnamon
lozenges, and original-stronger-bitter lozenges

i got enough of science and medication

i guess the only way to stop this is to be superstitious
or in the other sentence
- to hypnotize my self with stupid believes


thats why i wrote this,
like how i did one year ago.

please, please, stop coughing.
tomorrow is the day when ill wake up without coughing.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:42 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

minutes on top.


it's like
hundred miles per hour
minutes underwater
it gets harder to breathe when I'm here

it was like
thousand feet above sea level
skiing on thin ice
releasing the safety belt on a roller coaster ride

the thrill
was a 10 minutes ecstasy that i couldn't resist.

precious.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:23 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

satisfaction.


the hunger to perform is fed
the desire to step out of myself is satisfied
it is the 3 minutes that no one would take excuses
the few minutes with great expectations

once the mic is on
every second on the stage can be memorable
i enjoyed the feeling of knowing there were
few hundred pairs of ears
and few hundred pairs of eyes on me whether they like it or not, hehe

i'd say that i dislike attentions and hate to be under the limelights
but the other part of me was craving for it like drugs
oh so that is the gemini in me

i'd need it once in a while,
and i just had a big doses of it!
and alot, alot, alot, of fun.
and the feeling of when u can barely open ur eyes and u can hardly recognize any faces in the audience because of the over-powered spotlights are hitting on you like waves
was great.

thanks.




i secretly believe that
there is some kinda magic in my music
that will influence people on planet earth to go against pirated cds... hehe





Postato da: DC Darren / 5:50 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

nonsense.


would u give me a reason
why u couldn't tolerate my nonsense?

was it because life is too serious for us to make fun of
or because life itself has too much of it?


if you ever hesitated for awhile,
between the moment before the answer popped up and the flashbacks of ur own life;
if you gave a second thought,
between the moment after answer popped up and the time u decided to read the question again;


IF, if,
if u're reading this,
pleasssee admit that u can't live without nonsense.


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:25 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

people come and go, please dont go.


the intangible bond between humans
has been written and sung for countless times
i think it is time for me to feel it with a naked heart
instead of trying to describe it in words and phrases

people come and go, please don't go,
please don't go.



Postato da: DC Darren / 1:21 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

hey anticipation.


the swallow little game will be on this weekend
as chill as i may seem
hey anticipation,
pressure are piling on me like a fridge losing its balance on eggs
they are intangible,
sometimes so abstract that even myself couldn't explain that kind of pressure
that exists like a shadow to my emotions
that fades and flickers from time to time.

it was exactly a year ago when i unexpectedly won it
when not many was there to witness this event
this time,
i can hardly bear the weight of expectation
i couldn't estimate the weight of defeat
my ego and my expectation that lies beneath my subconscious mind
is killing me without making a sound.


and my only way out would be to satisfy myself
without losing my way.

my only possible disappointment would be to disappoint my friends and audiences,

sorry if that happens.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:55 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

its 4 o'clock in the morning.


its 4 am
i don't like to sleep this late
knowing that i'll wake up as early as the other days
just to end up lack of sleep.

i dont like to sleep this late
my dinner was so yesterday
and now i feel like there's a war in my stomach
that will only end with the arrival of the army of milk and breads and cheeses
or .. anything solid will do.

im very hungry,
very hungry,
very hungry..........

i shouldn't sleep this late,
i should just lie on the bed with my eyes closed
and decide whether to try to forget the fact that im hungry.
or to keep telling myself "im not hungry" until i fall asleep.

and im going now, goodnite.


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:57 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

put your blue jeans back on, boy.


when homesick turned bad
when that sickness of longing became incurable

its not bout going back to the little peaceful town u've been absent from
its not the bed and blanket at home and the way it smelled in the morning
its not mum's cooking and the spoons and forks and the cracked plate


homesick became incurable
when you're confused where u belonged to.
and where you're heading to.


follow the moon? no?


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:27 AM
7 watered my tree of thoughts.

repeat.


Do u know,
im that type of person

who will listen to a single favorite track over and over again
until i am completely sick with it
to fall in love with another song

who will have the same food for dinner over and over again
just to get my self sick to it
for the sake of switching to the other food

this sequences will never end
as there will always be new songs coming out
and i'd have to spent my entire life just to try out all the foods out there

a never ending cycle.
over and over again.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:52 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

J I C .


a library of joy and sorrows
thousand miles of memories
and years of stories untold

sometimes i wish i could just put all of them in words
with pen on papers

there are just too many things in mind to remember
scattered childhood memories
my dead pet named pepe
moments on the stage
beautiful things that happened on me
and all the people around me

just in case i forget anyone of them, someday
please please please,
flashes of lights, little things, familiar places or people i met,someday
would bring them back

hm,
i think i'll write them down, later, somewhere,
just in case i forget anyone of them,someday.





Postato da: DC Darren / 11:49 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

to write beautifully.



i used to believes that
we just have use a really good pen
to write beautifully

how good would it feel to have the best pen in ur hand
and let it flow across the blank page
ending up with beautiful words and lines
that you'd never thought you'll ever come out with

they say you'll never write good poems using the keyboards
how true is that ?

i used to believes that
we just have use a really good pen
to write beautifully

and this is the reason i'll never have the courage to buy one.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:54 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

special feeling #3.


there was a moment while i was singing on the stage
that i paused to think
"why the hell am i singing this way?"
no, i didn't exactly paused
my thoughts were frozen, but everything else moved on
the melody, my voice, the time.
for tat few second i realized that i didnt even try to memorize the lyrics
(the fact that i always forgot lyrics)
melody and lyrics just came out from me, from somewhere in me.
is that what we call singing from the heart?

ha, finally i tasted a few second of it.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:29 AM
3 watered my tree of thoughts.

a nap at 1pm.


i hate to dream
i got enough of nightmares,
that haunts me over and over again
and will keep haunting you even in ur conscious mind.
i had enough of sweet dreams
that seem so real when u're in it
just to wake up and find that it was just a dream.

dreams are too frequent recently and i couldn't get any good sleep
how good if i could stop dreaming
but if i could
sleeping will be even more boring than it was.

can i choose what to dream of?
or at least, give my dreams endings.
to wake up in the middle of the dream is frustrating
it dont help even if u try to fall back sleep just to find out the ending of ur dream.

i knoe i'll never get it,
but i always try to. haha.


Postato da: DC Darren / 5:03 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

8 random facts.


1.I've composed around 120 songs since form 5, good or bad ones.

2.i wrote a "book" about my first crush when i was form 2, its 30 pages of a secondary school exercise book.

3.i represented my school for football ok!

4.i grew up with extreme low self esteem, thanks for bringing me down.

5.i have eating disorder just because i have a thought that people around me thinks that i am underweight.

6.i have over 20 bottles of skin care product. but do i look like i care?

7.i longed for a birthday cake, a celebration, and people who show they give a damn.

8.this is first time i give respond to this kinda tagging thing, meme.haha.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:54 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

one night with cockroaches.


i had a horrible nightmare
nightmare of being chased all over by cockroaches
adding depth to my entomophobia.

one sticked at my back when i was eating lunch,
refuses to let go no matter how hard i shake.
they were waiting for me in every corner of my grandma's house
like they'll crawl all over me if i go any nearer.

urghh...
what a heart thumping night of sleep, with extreme disgust.

damn, i hate cockroaches

if there is one day when cockroaches finally evolved to flying creature
i'll runaway from planet earth.
trust me.




Postato da: DC Darren / 2:43 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

09.



dreams are too frequent
even if she fall asleep before dawn
she never want to fall asleep
endless night with 24 hrs shops
no one's rushing home
no one wants to go home alone

she reduced the dosage of love she usually take
to the minimum
she cut the usage of lover she usually take
to half

love tingled the tip of her tongue
he tested how much she wanted him
just to find out that
she was merely mentally yearning for love
merely longing for love.
only looking for love.
wishing for love,
desired to love.



Postato da: DC Darren / 12:44 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

honk.


i tried my best not to honk while driving
i don't want to sound angry
honk shouldn't be a language on the road
because no matter how u honk, softly, or with pattern,
will only make them think that u're angry

im patient, at least i tried to be
im not furious, at least i kept it well

sorry, i honked my car honk.
i tried not to, i tried.


Postato da: DC Darren / 5:48 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

he doesn't need a title.




i'm not well,
because i feel like what the others are feeling,
strange assumptions of everyone is turning against me
strong instinct of unfortunate events,
struggling helplessly in a place full with helping hands.

once shamelessly declared myself as the most optimistic
and now i'm falling to the other side.

the way the sudden downpour happened,
the horoscope section in a magazine,
and the red liquid that i see every morning,

indicates that the clock is ticking backwards.


how would you feel if u read the news of my death next morning?



Postato da: DC Darren / 10:30 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

limited edition.


im number 06993
ladies over the street staring back at me
friends wish that they owned me
i couldnt find anyone like me around me
hey im special.
i made my master proud.

but like a dumdum, i just realized that
i'm not the one and only

there were 9999 pieces of my twins all over places i couldn't see
shining on the body of a singer in a nightclub
or folded into half and kept in the cupboard tasting loneliness
or wrapped in presents waiting to be given away

im merely a limited edition T-shirt,
nothing special.
nothing special.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:56 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

the love letter writer.


the love letter writer
an evil cupid in disguise
is selling proses of love on a cheap
who's buying?

fall in love with the recipient
whom he never met
break his own heart over and over again
in his own imaginary scenarios
passionate sentence and flirtatious phrases
he laid his pen in a mission to make her fall
not for himself but for them
who never seemed to understand the language of love

the love letter writer
went through too many stories of others
fell in the first sentence
and fell out on the full stop of the letter written
how absurd a love can be,
in a letter full of alphabets of deception.

growing repugnance,
he has lost the ability to write for his own
love letter has lost its meaning
when the writer has already written countless.
to those he once loved,
even only for the duration of time taken to write a love letter.



how true are those words in your love letter?


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:48 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

secret.


dont tell me the truth
you dont have to
and u deserve some space for a secret, or maybe more

everyone got their own secrets
broken vase in the living room
underground love hidden for years
or a love letter on the windscreen
more or less
im sure there will be.

there weren't anyone who live without a secret
and i believe that secrets subconsciously affect our behavior
some screamed because of secrets
some silence for the same reason
more or less
im sure there will be.

i gave each of them a secret
they will be happier with the secret.

what urs?


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:04 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the show.


a night to a circus show
or a orchestra performance?

a risky but eye catching performance
or a very stable but somehow dull one?

i want a stable yet heart thumping circus show.

hehe.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:40 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

home?


i purposely chose the seat near the window
i thought of the little kid that sell kuih in the bus station
i felt very thankful despite the imperfections
i listened to mp3s that i always listened to
i read few pages of a book that ive given up reading long ago

i forgot where i belonged to
i forgot my destination that im heading to
i forgot the definition of home

i thought of days that left me behind
i remind myself of the time i left behind
i saw love outside the window
and hatred on the other side of it
i fell for things that passed me by in a blink of eye
i had intense yet short lived feelings for sceneries moved backwards

i grieved and i laughed
stolen and stealing hearts
it is all amusing enough
to keep my mind busy along the journey in a bus

thats why i chose the seat near the window.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:33 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

words to a stranger.


she dont smile,
her beauty frowns,
a glance worth a thousand pounds,
she walks the sideway of that little town.

she hardly spoken
but her eyes sent a thousand words
she couldnt run away she couldnt hide
the prying eyes by her side
what would make her change a mind,
should i hesitate or get off the dime.

not until the stranger passed me by..


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:18 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

imperfection.


dad has been telling me ,practice makes perfect
but being an egoistic me
will always find reasons to oppose logics and theories

the moon wouldn't be so beautiful without its flaws
life would be meaningless if there wasn't ups and downs.
we wouldn't able to distinguish one another.

ive been practicing my song for so many times,
just to make a part of it run out of tune.
look dad, im practicing for imperfection! haha.


you're not perfect, neither any of us are




imperfection is where your beauty comes from.


imperfection made me who i am.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:30 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

night time stories.



i remember
smile as sweet as minty chocolates
chilly palms that once froze in time
warm shoulders in the dark cold cinema

where are you my dear friend ?

i remember
words that lighten up the dark blue nights
sleepless night that you listened to my lullabies
and looking at the imperfect moon on a perfect starry nights


where are you my dear friend ?

every little details of the scenery outside of my window
says a little about you.

i shoudnt go any nearer.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:07 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

im sorry.


sorry.
it is hidden quietly somewhere in a corner
joining other truth that has been concealed
waiting for someday for them to be revealed.

ive long forgotten that little space,
as i tried as hard as i could to forget,
i've forgotten that little corner where so many things were forgotten there

i'm almost there.

but sometimes the reverie before the traffic lights turning into green
or just an untitled melody i played with my fingers while falling asleep in the office
or the sleepless nights that seemed like blood were oozing out within
would remind me of them.

sorry,
i have to hide the hardest word in the world,



simply because i love you so.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:56 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

wrapped.


i like to read catalogs since i was a kid
this once again made me questioned my childhood
did i grew up like the others did?
like to flip thru catalogs of furnitures that i couldnt afford
loiter on ebay browsing craps that would make me poorer
or even catalogs of groceries could make me few percent happier.
haha, it cant be any easier to make me feel happy.

i start to appreciate the meaning of packaging
since they are part of the subject i'm studying currently.
i feel reluctant to unwrap things that i've bought
i thought they're some sort of art , when something is beautifully sealed

do i have to buy something home and follow the urge to unwrap it,
despite the desire to keep it just the way it is?

a Gillette razor is still nicely wrapped, lying in my cupboard.



Postato da: DC Darren / 9:57 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the man walking on the tightrope.


i'm a man walking on a tight rope
hanging in the middle of the nowhere
shaking with the wind blowing with despair
the end's too near, but when will i be there?

i'm a man walking on a tightrope
not afraid of death, i'm dare to hope
step forward and ill be free
turn backward and back to my dream
which direction should i be?

no longer able to balance myself on the pain in my head
your whispers decided my next small step
i've been holding on, for so long
so long.
without moving on.

memories in my right grasp
and the future on the left
forward equals to ignorance
backward leads me loneliness
do i have to fall
to earn myself some happiness?


the man walking on a tightrope
he deserves some sympathy.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:00 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

god made me special.


god made everyone special
every faces and every pair of eyes is unique on their own way
can u imagine that?
when u walk into a crowded place
how many story is playing at once?
a middle aged struggling in a job with a low pay and wondering how to hide that from his wife
young girl quarreled with boyfriend because he left the keys on baskin robbin's table
a proud dad who's thinking new names for his newborn
and countless others
ups and downs in everyone
in you, in me.
we're all in the roller coaster of life

the more people i meet each day,
the more i see the true colors of life
every pair of eyes that crossed mine
telling me there were so many story untold
every single person that passed me by
has passed by so many people in their life
and even every pair of hands got its own story to tell
every footstep on the sideways have walked thousand miles to reach where they are


if everyone i met in my life have a movie of their own life time story to show
i guess i'll have to spend my entire life to watch them all.


i guess i need 3 hours for my own movie.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:20 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

Sunday.



im starting to appreciate Sundays more
like i'm supposed to.

this is the day when u can sleep,
long enough for the sunlight that shine through the half opened windows to warm you up
you dont have to open your eyes even if ure awake,
you rather force yourself into sleep knowing it is too early no matter what time it is,
and waking up without having to worry the condition of the hair, haha
knowing today belongs only to you.

you can sip some coffee beside the window with your favorite music playing along
you can just stare outside the window looking for clouds that shaped like her face
you can jump back into the bed anytime, but u wouldnt want to.

and so, u spent the day when the clock moves slower than usual
and the pace of the earth's few second lagging,
without having any plan in ur head
i painted
i sang for awhile
i called home for some family warmth.

this beautiful little Sunday,
my beautiful little Sunday,
you deserve a beautiful weather, just like this.


i deserve an ordinary Sunday, just like this


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:40 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

im writing this in my office.


im writing this in my office,
no, i dont go online in the office,
im writing using my imaginary pen
and the mind is my paper scrambled with alphabets and words
this is the only way i can write anytime and anywhere i want

Second day, third day,
i'd say everything is fine
i realised that im starting to get used to this new life
which i dont want to get used to
but along this years i found out that our body and mind tend to adapt to things as time goes by
whether u like it or not

*learning how to control the stomach that grumbles at 4.15pm
forgetting my latest addiction of swimming pool water
and not letting the romeo of my ears meet juliet's music

i witness the changes, every little bits of them indeed
fading away in slow-mo,
what can i do to stop this?
or should i just let it be?
,knowing that im helplessly stranded in the 21st floor of life?

i know one day, one fine day
when i will live the life i wanted to live again
for now,
i carefully unattached them as a part of me
i know that fine day,
i will breathe the air the way i want again.



life is not giving me a chance to miss you

but i did.


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:09 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

im just a cuckoo clock.


i cant believe i sold my freedom over a pile of bank notes
i started working today, in an office
it was indeed like being trapped in a traffic, for 8 fucking hours
and along the 8 hours, u have to work mentality and physically

is it true that money can only be exchanged with freedom?


i cant believe i sold my freedom over a pile of banknotes
does my freedom only worth that little money?
or im just a cuckoo clock who thought he worth golds?
is this the nature of the adult life?
which everyone have lost their enthusiasm for life?


i guess im just not used to be trapped in a place for too long
staring out the office window but without able to breath the air outside the window
is torturing me like watering a thirsty man in a desert but not letting him to drink it

i cant dream whenever i want to
i cant sing whenever i feel like
i cant follow my heart
only because i've asked life to shackle me , and cage me up.


there's one type of bird that will only feel safe by keep on flying and moving on

i guess im that type.








Postato da: DC Darren / 7:05 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

alive.


death,
is a very horrible thing
to those who're alive.

i admit that im afraid of death
i always thought that life is too beautiful to end anytime soon
sometimes i dream of death
they say we always dream of what we fear of happening the most
i'd wake up in horror
to realise im still alive.

i'm afraid of death, do you?


but
there's no such thing as fear once we're dead
cause, we're dead.
if this is the fact,
am i supposed to be afraid?


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:07 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

ask me, i like to help.


Ask me, I like to help
Above is my msn status, offering help to people who needs one.

some asked me if i could tell them how to study
my underage fren asked me what to do if his gf is proposing a breakup
frens asked me to kill their boredom.
one asked me bout types of girl id fall in love with.

another fren asked what form of help that i can give.
thats when i paused awhile to think
what can i give? what do i have with me now? nothing special?
online consultation perhaps?
any subject other than maths and anything that deals with number
haha.

it has been two days since i offer free help.
so many questions and doubts i tried to answer
no matter they're satisfied or not

I'm almost out of answers...



at last,
no one understood,
whats in the lighthouse man's mind.



i wish i could help,
but heaven knows i'm the one who sought for one.





Postato da: DC Darren / 1:30 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

just another bad hair day.


Its time to cut my hair again
suddenly feels that to cut short is a waste of money and time

its always hard to get the perfect length i want
when there's perfection, i wont last long
thats why i cut it over and over again,
with the thought that it will look better, ill be very satisfied the next time
and the days after a visit to the saloon,
the hair lives in a condition which even he himself cant recognize himself



but for the sake of keeping it until an unacceptable length and cutting it again

i chose to bear with it.



i hate my hair,
i love my hair.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:44 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

end of the road.


i stared at nothing,
looking at each alphabet like wondering how they was originated
reading the sentence over and over again
hoping that something new will pop up in my brain
where all the facts i memorized were used up

its my fault
i shouldn't have over-listened boys ii men songs
instead of remembering the organization structure of a salesforce
all i could remember was every single line in boyz II men's "end of the road"
and the melody keeps playing again and again in my head
and so i made up senseless story of lovers reaching the end of the road
and jumped into the river of love
how absurd it is to have such stupid thought at such important couple of hours.



it is indeed the end of the road for me.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:31 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

my sneakers, this is for you.


my sneakers that i loved
my sneakers that walked me miles of road
we've been together for not long
but i have always loved you

but now
my sneakers are stolen
we'll never realize how important is something until it is gone, how true
now i know, now i know.

but now its too late

how are you doing over there?, someplace where i dont know.
quietly lying in other people's shoe rack with the odour ure not used to,
starting to adapt to that person who liked u like i do,
or tasting loneliness just like when u were with me before?

sorry i took us for granted
i should have brought u inside, beside my bedpost
i didn't do whats right for us
and i guess i just have to admit
even i'll have to witness you in other ppl's feet

but
without a blink of eye
without a single sense of feeling unsure
without a word, from a thousands unspoken.
i'll just pretend that im fine with it.
im ok.


so long, my sneakers
love, darren.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:17 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

refuse to sleep.


i refuse to sleep,
although my body telling me he want to rest

it rained hard,
i cant remember when was the last time it rained
the night is so peacefully beautiful
light breeze caress me over
embraces me into herself

letting my self fall asleep too early would be a waste,
with beautiful music playing thru my wooden speaker
im falling into my own heaven again

when the raindrops fall at such a perfect moment,
miracles happen,
i'm blissfully enjoying the night like no one else would do
and it is just another ordinary miracle in my life.

-----
and so,
i keep looking for excuses to stay awake,

just a lil later than usual.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:35 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

alone in the pool.


i fell in love with moments in the pool alone
i purposely choose hours when there's no people in the pool
when i can pretend the pool belongs to me, my private pool
dive in, and swim around.

i fell in love with moments when i swim alone
it is funny when you're alone doing something
more thoughts will come across
its like there's a voice which u can tell its ur own, inside ur head
mumbling more than a thousand words, to you

it might be something important,
like the motivation or reason to swim
or something irrelevant or stupid,
like the crazy thought to swim naked.

especially when i go beneath the surface,
i cant hear any other voice, the world turned silent
but still my voice speaks louder,
yet i turned deaf,

im lost.

i shut my eyes as hard as i could
and try as hard as i could to find my own voice again
finally i found it in an echo of my own

thats when i feel safe again.


-------------------------------
so many thoughts in a short session in the swimming pool

thats how i listen to myself.


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:34 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

im disconnected.


hey, being disconnected wasn't that bad at all
no chatting
no urge to check mail
no problem breathing
not as bad i thought it'd be

instead, i have more time doing other stuff
more time with guitar
and cleaner room
and some ideas for the next painting
and some dusty books are read once again


free urself from something u cling to
things aren't that bad as u thought it would be afterall


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:24 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

beside the window.


when ure 21 years ol' and busy with ur life as a 21 years ol'
u hardly get a chance to sit alone
looking out from the window
and suddenly see the slideshows of past few years of ur life playing on the pale blue sky

i had that chance today
and i just thought that how fast time has been moving
like i always thought

but i just realized that i hasn't ever realized how much time has changed me

my likings,
my lifestyle,
and my personality.

to good or bad,
i dont know...
but there were changes...
all along the way.



thank god, for moments near the window.
:)


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:09 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

filled.


if u asked why am i so busy recently
id hesitate for somewhile or might not be able to answer you
days were hectic that i lost track of things i do
what i remember was few performances,
loads of school work and
meeting countless person...

life was once empty but now its full
like an empty bottle filled full with rocks at first
that full.
but then sand took the remaining spaces
letting every inches in the bottle filled

*busy life let me forget there are empty spaces

now i don't care whatever it takes to fill them up.


when is the water coming in?



Postato da: DC Darren / 12:38 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

illusion.


tell me its not real,
that illusion that appeared
on your night where stars were glittering
and the moon were splendid

when everything are perfect.

and the perfection happened
without the picture of me appearing in ur painting


you don't paint loneliness anymore.
and i guess thats the end of the story...


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:29 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

wait, wait, wait.


do you hate the feeling of waiting?
been waiting for the past,
and waiting in the present for the future to fall
waiting for the unforeseen to unfold itself
so uncertain, and so unconvincing
u chose to give up or stay up for the uncertainty?
that sometimes seems like an tunnel with no end
waiting can be a form of torture

i hate to wait
but im born with the patience to wait
i waited for the grad photo session
i waited in in lines for hours
i waited for my reply of blood test for days
i waited for my cactus to grow for months
i waited for you, for years.

waiting, everyone around is waiting,
some waited somewhile,
some waited for too long,
while some waiting themselves to give up waiting.

they're all the same,
the followers of waitings,
the slaves of an unforeseen future.

what they can do is only wait,
because no one can fast forward the tick of clock.


so you choose to go home to sleep?
or stay here with me?


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:13 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

leave me alone, guitar.


when i have to keep my eyes on the screen full with words
when i have to lay my fingers on keyboard
when i have to work for hours just to finish up my part of work

the guitar lying quietly on its stand
has turned into a form of distraction

she don't move
she's still
and she dont have to say a word

seducing me wanting herself in my embrace

how to keep my self from falling into her?
oh, the beautiful 6 stringed instrument in my room

stay away, stay away for awhile...


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:05 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

our song - 4:06.


i hate sentimental songs
thats why this sweet song is playing on my winamp, repeating over and over again
its not that im in love
perhaps i want to disguise myself
concealing the truth that im somehow living with some negative thoughts and mood

so,
let me forget the sad melody of kissgoodbye
and temporary live in the sweet tunes of forever love

i'll pretend the story's mine, until the end of the song.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:58 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i'm not a star, but i got my pride.


its raining hard out there,
can u hear the voices of pouring rain when u read this line?

im emo-ing here,
can u hear my heart beat when u read this line?
*
*
how many raindrops fell onto places

how many hearts break into pieces

how long have i been living in illusion

how long it took me from dream to realization

how the night with a downpour wet the edge of my passion

and how could i make it through with memories to renaissance.




its raining again. :)
heavy rain always put me in a type of mood even me myself couldn't classify
left me petrified clinging to loneliness,
and yet fortified by my sense of unconsciousness.

that could only be justified by singing it out, saying it out, or writing it out.

i chose the latter.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:48 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

numbers.


my head wasnt really blank
indeed it was packed with stuffs that i dont need
the ink of the pen that i was i holding awaiting to be released
i stare on the paper filled with strange lines and writings

what strange?
it is because all out of a sudden i couldnt recognize a word on it
they were numbers,
numbers that ive been taught
since the day when parents decided that im old enough to be taught
numbers that im so familiar with yet hated for
numbers that caused confusions when it is put together
and more confusions when I have to put them together

3 ? 7 ?2 ? 8? how did somebody created those thing?
suddenly i gazed at the number like that is the first time im shown to it.
im like an newborn infant
the shape is so weird, y it is 8 shaped like this "oo" ?


the closer i look into it
the further away i'll be from my sense of logic


I'm LOST, IN the numbers On my maths paper.




Postato da: DC Darren / 12:51 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

hug.


give me a hug.
and ull warm my heart

shred away the doubts
and distance apart

give me a hug
worth more than a thousand bucks

i need a hug
in the night so dark.


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:28 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

thursday night.


i turned off the tv
i turned off the lights
the world is still moving

i refuse to write
i refuse to paint
there'll still be millions of thoughts waiting to be expressed

i dont see
i dont hear a thing
but it never change the fact that refuses to become a history

things that conceal it self from what bare eyes could see
never really went away.

it has been always there.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:43 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

is it goin to rain?


is it goin to rain?

the weather report says its gonna rain
but its now evening and there's not a drop of rain yet
i always wondered what would they do if they're prediction is not accurate
cz it always seemed like no one give a damn anyway
they'll just forget bout it ,isnt?

my sixth sense says its not gonna rain!
but outside my window the sky is so dark that anyone would say a storm is coming
but my logical mind battled with the instinct that has been inaccurate lately
but even if it doenst rain later, who will give a damn bout my prediction anyway?
they'll just forget about it, isnt ?


neither the weather report nor my intuition can be relied on
but if i were to choose one,
i'd choose the latter.

hehe.

the weather in this small little town i lived in is so unpredictable
things are always that unpredictable. aren't they ?


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:44 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

incomplete song - 0:39.


there's an incomplete song
that i wrote some time ago
but i havent got the inspiration
i havent gather enough courage
to complete it, yet

it has always been there
that 39 seconds of melody
mumbling words unspoken to u

im afraid that
id spoil the incomplete masterpiece upon completion
im afraid that
beautiful things that always looked perfect
would turn imperfect in my effort to make it perfect

ignorance left me blissful
and at the same time, worries in the state of happiness


the incomplete melody playing in my mind
will be left behind incomplete
left behind
as a beautiful tune in my memory



awaiting your acknowledgement.
awaiting to be forgotten
awaiting my courage of conviction.
awaiting to be completed.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:28 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

untitled.



ive sang countless songs, but im not a singer,
for the songs i sang are melodies of others' heartbreak

ive painted for ages, but im not a painter
for i dont always lay my words in colors

ive wrote thousands of words, but im not a poet
for the proses i wrote are only dedicated for myself

i think its better to leave me undefined.



Postato da: DC Darren / 3:38 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

4:19.


there's a song
that ive lost count listening over and over again
but still,
i dont understand its meaning

what's in the melody at 3:15 minutes?
why are the words sang are so abstract?

lovers in the song chose to stay or left each other?



im stranded,
with alot of questions that probably no one could ever give answers to .

and i kept listening the same song over and over again.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:01 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

9 x 11.


i like to be alone
because when you're alone
u tend to think alot,
things that u've missed out crossed ur mind
and make you realise many things that u should had realised earlier

i hate to be alone
because when i'm alone
i tend to think alot,
like, when the world is gonna comes to an end
and many other stupid little things that (probably) wouldnt happen to me

loneliness to me is like cigarettes to smokers

you knoe its killing you softly
yet it is so addictive
strangles you in every minute of it
yet not letting you loses your breathe

its a feeling that u cant explain,
its like an ecstasy that u could only taste by being alone
sometimes i somehow enjoyed this rollercoaster-ride
of feeling like dying and being alive again.



being alone is some sort of suicidal, i knoe
and i chose to be alone.



Postato da: DC Darren / 10:23 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

im not in the mood to write.


its a perfect weather
the guitar is crying for my touch
the pen wants me to hold her so much
and my heart has thousand words to say
loads of melodies awaiting to be filled with lyrics

but still
im not in the mood to write
the too- perfect settings doesnt trigger my desire to write
one reason is already enough for me to not write

ah, and still
i wrote this.

i just realised i'm writing.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:43 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

imperfection - a self portrait.


its named imperfection - self portrait.

it depicts the imperfection
in hims and hers
in them...
in you
and in me.

under the beautiful outer layer
how do u look like?


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:27 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

bye, my dear friend.


We.
are finished.
we need time to build a relationship
which can bypass arguments and obstacles.

Our friendship just died
like a dog.

we're not strong enough
and simply not keen enough.
im still the same.
thank you.
but
you're finished, u died,
my plant.

so long,
my dear friend.
love, Darren Chuah.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:41 PM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

secret.


there's a secret beneath the pocket
that no one has noticed

there's a secret quietly lied underneath my pocket
u should have noticed, you should have noticed

there's a secret hiding from me underneath my pocket
i should have found it ,i should have found it

there's a secret

that is forgotten on a corner which has been forgotten.

i should have remembered, i should have remembered...


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:20 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

tomorow is the day when i'll wake up without remembering that i've been coughing for 3 months.


tomorrow will be the day i wake up without remembering that i've been coughing for 3 months

no more sore and itchy throat
no more red colored pills and sickening cough syrup
and no more restriction to my food intake

i'll sing aloud
i'll eat my favorite burgers and fried chickens more than i've ever ate
i'll recall how bad my cough had been
and even write a story for it

yeah, im still coughing now
but i know im recovering
after tonight, everything will be back to the way i want again
this will be the last day, the last night

i gulp down the last drop of my cough syrup before i go to bed
knowing i wouldn't need it again

and tell my self
tomorrow is the day when ill wake up without coughing for the first time in 3 months.


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:25 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

runaway.


i wanna runaway
to a place so far away
to a place ive never been to
to a place where there's no annoying parking ticket queue
and the seduction of fast food that is killing me and my friends slowly
and mobile ring tone that always seem to be ringing in my head

i just wanna runaway from the reality sometimes so cruel
temporary leaving everything behind without being accuse of irresponsibility
understand that im not avoiding from things that i have to face and dont want to face
i just want to live ahead of time,
leaving the present behind before it catch me up from the back again

i wanna run away
without thinking much about the unforeseen consequences that might arise

i wanna runaway
knowing that ill eventually returning back to the starting point

i wanna runaway
without turning back again.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:13 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i found rm200 under my bed.


4 rm50 bank notes is recovered
i found it under my bed
i couldnt even remember when
and why did i slip it in there

Sometimes
there are things that i tried so hard to hide hence their existence are forgotten.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:51 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

sleep.


i always think that sleeping is a waste of time.

your brain works beyond your consciousness
you dream of dreams that its content is beyond your control
u have nightmares,
u sometimes face things that you wouldnt even dare to think of when ure awake
u've forgotten that u might never wake up the next morning to see the sunlight
u've just took a risk that u could not afford to take.

by falling asleep.

your body stop moving most of the time in your sleep
but the whole world is still moving
the earth is orbiting round the sun
millions other people are doing things that u want to do
that u havent do, and u want to do before u die
you missed the sunrise u missed the meteor rain u missed the night

while you are lying there, just lied there
with your eyes closed
doing nothing.

you could have done things that will changes other things with the time u sleep

ha, i guess my philosophy has gone a lil too ridiculous.



i shall go to bed earlier tonight.


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:57 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

3 months.


3 months away from home
after 3 long months away from home
i went back to where i belonged to again

things can change so fast in a blink of ur eyes.
and in 3 months
so many things has changed,so fast,
in a blink of eyes

-

the view way home has changed
the small little hut near the petrol station has been demolished
and now its a hotel in progress

the lil garden of my house has changed
the green leafs that mom planted are all dead
and now replaced by purple tulips that seemed like they will never bloom

my parents has changed
even hair coloring failed to conceal their evidence of aging
and now some grey hair are visible, at least to my eyes.


*
have i changed since the last time i been here,my lovely hometown?
are there things in me that im supposed to keep has faded and failed the test of time?


-
ah, forgive me
im just like the town, where new things were built and old one were destroyed.
im just like the flowers, which cannot live thru the change of season.
im just a man, whom going through the path that everyman have to go thru.



im just me, that tried so hard to stay as the person who i was.

but gravity always win.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:39 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

CD that i don't listen to.


there's a CD lying in my CD rack, silently
a CD of one of my favorite singer
but the weird thing is, i never listened to the CD
maybe once, but i really never bother to listen to it.
i bought it merely because of the sudden rush of desire to own something that i wish i could own.

i just kept it there,
never bother to take it out, on the CD rack under the other CDs
if its not because of the random mood swing today that accidentally brought me to the thought of listening back the CD again
i might not have listened to it till the day i die.

what is the purpose of owning something that i don't use?
full possession of things that are not supposed to belong to me

is not satisfying at all.


feed my ego.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:29 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

perfect disorder.


Things are running out of their track
and im living everything in disorder


eating disorder,
double cheese at 3 a.m.
sleeping disorder,
goodnight sleep at 4 a.m.
Autism Disorders, in short , social disorder,
always remind me of the person i once was.

and a coffee at lunch time.

why everything of me are running out of places?


-
wait, things have never been in their own place in my life,
and that made me the person i am now.

how would i look like if everything is the other way round?


ah, im living in a perfect disorder.
and im keeping it.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:59 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

just a dream.


i dreamed of death again.
a friend of mine passed away in the long long dream
in a short short sleep.

it was so real that i can still feel the pain now
wait, who said it was real? it wasn't...

i forced myself awake,petrified,to realize that it was just a dream
and to feel relieved that my friend is still alive
and a little sense of guilt for not waiting till the end of the dream
to see what would happen next.

what would be the ending of the story?
i want to see things that i never want to face in reality.
but the fact is i'm not even brave enough to do so in my dream.




ha, thank god, she's still alive. :)


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:57 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i keep on remind myself not to sing.


there's a piece of note
written " dont sing"
pasted on my computer monitor
to remind myself not to sing like i do everyday.

dont sing,
dont sing,
dont sing.

cz i coughed for nearly a month
and i cant continue stressing my throat
singing with winamp again.

why do people set rules to stop themselves from doin things that they knew it was wrong?

and now i did the same thing.

i dont understand,
i dont understand,
i dont understand...

nvm,



i think i'll break that anyway.



i dont miss you
i dont
i dont.


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:42 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

blower's daughter.






Postato da: DC Darren / 2:44 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the morning i woke up late for class and i saw the arms of the clock pointed to 1 o'clock.


why you have to let me down,
only time when i needed u the most?
-
-
why you have to leave me stranded,
and frozen behind the time?
-
-
i have always believed in you, i really do,
but now u have broken it.
-
-
how to rebuild the trust i had for you,
all over again?
-
-
-
dont stop, move on,
-
-
oh, my alarm clock.
-
yawn.


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:41 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

easel.



do u understand feeling of the sudden urge to do something in a relaxing afternoon?
and today,
i went out to look for an easel.

it has been a long while since i last paint.

i bought a set of brushes, just to feed my desire
but i didnt start painting
i bought colours and sketching block
but still,
i didnt start painting

i think i need an easel,
i want an easel,
i want it to be in my room
ive even pictured where should i place it.hehe.

maybe with that way,
i'll be more motivated to start laying words in colors again.


get me one, anyone ?


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:16 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

the stage, not my own.


Have i told u, that audiences are performers too?
now ive made it to the stage
but still,
once an audience, always an audience
people asked me to concentrate on stage
but i always tend to do stupid little things

one of them is the sudden urge to focus on some audience

no, not pretty faces,i just focused on what they do
carefully listening to me,
or pretending to listen with arms crossed
or some who dont even care,
and those who do talking to the mobile phone all night long.

everything little things suddenly become so clear
too clearly seen for me to concentrate on myself

until the day i master the ability to watch each and everyone under the stage
while playing guitar,
and singing out loud,
while trying to remember words in lyrics that me myself dont undetstand
while thinking of other stupid little things

forgive me for not concentrating in being the me on stage
im still learning.

do u even care what i mumbled on stage?
no, me myself dont care either.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:26 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

emo.



im depressed as something unexpected has ruined everything

forgive me as i had sinned
to thou i confess under the blue moon
would you forgive me for i has done wrong?
would you understand that i'm just an ordinary man
like you?

do u hear my confessions in whisper?
i know the inevitable will happen
that what is real always find its way to reveal itself

Don't want to be thrown into chaos
by sustaining something that has rotten
which way of ignorance have the least destructive consequences?



i don't know.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:21 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i was looking for something in my room.


i was looking for something in my room
and it was no where in my sight

have u ever? .
have u ever lost something?

i looked everywhere
under the bed, in the cupboard, under the computer table
but still, i couldnt find the thing i want now

have u ever?
have u ever lost something and thought you'll never get them back again?

after sometime searching thru
after ive given up
i saw it lying just on the table, behind the wooden speaker.

have u ever?
have u ever lost something,
and thought u'll never get them back again,
but then ended up having them again?

the feeling is like breathing the free air again after a scuba dive.


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:27 PM
4 watered my tree of thoughts.

who.


i realize i've been keeping things to myself
maybe that's the reason of the lack of update

there's a treasure box in my heart
there are many things inside
valuable secrets
stupid little things
and there's an invaluable thing
which is you, my beautiful little secret
that i wouldnt wanna share with anyone

before the world found the reason to invade my territory
i chose to conceal my thoughts about you

deep down under.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:36 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

listen to my left brain.


im slightly more motivated to clean my room recently
tat's when i realized,
there'll only be more and more dust all the time
last time id say my room is already clean enough
there's no need to clean again
secretly,i havent really have a close look at the floor i stepped on everyday.

the furniture forever in its place, the plant that keeps on growing
and the voice the windows make.
i started to see the dust.

last time when i was a child, i never clean my room
now,
id ask my self everynite,
is this the "living alone " life that i wanted?
is this the life that i feared,
but once craved of when i was younger?
---

i cant believe that,
im already living in my childhood dream.

---
ahhh.. i off the computer, and the lights
i didnt even listen to mp3 to fall asleep tat night.

and
i wake up the next morning to realise
the dust can be easily brushed away.

hehe.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:23 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

There was a small earthquake in the little town i lived in.


can u feel the shake ?
that was an earthquake in Sumantera
and the old building in my uni shook as well.

everyone was evacuated frm the building
everybody ran for their life
i was at home, sleeping
where were you?

i closed my eyes as hard as i could
fall asleep, fall asleep,ergh
it wont be so painful
if the building is really collapsing.


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:05 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

good day.


u must believe in what u always believed in,
because the world can change in a fraction of second.


that's why i say,
any moment might be a moment of ur life.

ok, its too abstract.
ill say something simple.


treasure the happy moments together.



Postato da: DC Darren / 6:06 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

a plant that survived in my room.


even cactus died in my room
dont mention other plant.

but
the new plant in room only needs water to survive
i brought it all the way from ipoh
wrapped in plastic bag and wet tissues
mom said its called "thousand year green"
because it is always tat green

is it true that it wont die ?

the beautiful leafs in my room will not die.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:43 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i bought an alarm clock.


i bought a classic table alarm clock
when it rings it sounds like fire alarm
and set me popping up from bed every morning

any voice could easily wake me up
i realise i dont need the loud alarm at all
it is here
only because its look

i bought an alarm clock which i dont really need
the marketing lecturer said tat
marketing is all about getting ppl to buy things that they dont really need
i think this purchase fell under tat category

but i bought an good looking alarm clock.
and im bearing with the loud ring almost everymorning.
but who cares,










it looks good afterall.




Postato da: DC Darren / 1:25 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i play sad tunes.


like a paint brush without color
im on an inspiration draught again
there were tunes playing in my head
but there wasnt any sparkle of creativity

i ran my fingers thru the electric keyboard
i plucked a few guitar strings
i laid the point of my pen on papers
nothing came out tho.

the feeling is like a traveler coming back to the same coffee shop over and over again
over and over again, he stayed in a same place without moving on.
i couldnt get out of my own thought

and so,
the recorder recorded the voices of desperation


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:22 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

happy holiday.


most people are easily content with the amount of happiness in their hand
little things is enough to make them happy,
sometimes i admit its easy to feel happy
but they deserves more than that
im not happy with my ----blablabla
im not satisfied with what i get
my life is not in the state of perfection that i was searching for
-
i deserves more than that.
-
so ask for more.
-
and a happy holiday. :)



Postato da: DC Darren / 11:58 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

du da da.


music/lyrics: darren chuah
-
du da da~ its painful just to think of you
like the guitar~ with broken strings and out of tune
du da da~ i dont wanna knoe the scenary outside my room
du da da~ i live in my own blackhole
-
along the street there are couples holding hands
dont let me witness
our promises that havent happen on us
-
what is love?
the answer is on the back of the earth
before the sunlight falls on us
pls remember
when im still holding ur hand this moment
-
before the world's awake
i silently watches u leave
-
-
what is love?
now im on the back of the earth
after the sun rises
pls temporary forget
that we held each other last night
-
before anyone's awake
i silently sent you away from me.
-
-
-
du dad a...
i dont understand the asnwer give...n


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:31 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

sing in the lecture hall.


Inspiration always come at the wrong time
Ive been in inspiration drought for like.. two weeks..
but recently
it always came without notice
its either in the lecture hall
in the bathroom
or while im driving
unamed combination of tunes rushed into my mind
-
forcing me to whisper to my fone recorder,
ended up recorded the lecturer's lecture
forcing me to rush out of the bathroom
holding the guitar almost naked
forcing me to giveup half of my attention in driving
just to end up forgetting the melody tat played so hard in my head
-
-
-
why do my mind get stimulated at the wrong time?
-
i really need a recorder
if only i could have one in my head............................


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:59 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i fell awake in a cozy afternoon.


i fell asleep in a cozy afternoon
and i woke up in a cozy afternoon
-
time passes too fast in my dream
there's no sunrise or sunset,
but it felt like days and weeks has passed me by
there,
i saw myself
i saw you
and i saw myself with you.
-
time passed too fast in my dream
thats y i met u there, in my dream
there's no clock, no day ,and no night
no colour, only a world in monochrome
but there's you.
-
-
it seemed like days and weeks has passed me by
but it was only in my dream.
...............
i fell asleep in a cozy afternoon,
and i woke up in a cozy afternoon.
-
-
can the time move a lil faster?
not as fast as the time in my dream
just a lil faster......... .


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:01 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

caffeinated.


a fren asked me why my blog has nothing to do with my life
i answered "im blogging bout my life lah .?."

simple, but true,
everything is bout me,my life,
and things that are seen thru my eyes,
tho the way i express them is a lil diffrent
but,
ha, i just did it my way.


wa, the rain is falling hard out there,
the vessels and cells of my brain is crying for caffeine
admit that im physically,
more to mentally dependant of the dark coloured, bittersweet, addictive liquid
especially when the weather is chilling, like this one


ah, boiled some water,poured it into a cup filled with "costa"
add some sugar, stirred
jazzy music mellowly playing thru my wooden speaker,
i took a sip beside my apartment's window.
it was raining hard out there.

and i tasted it with my heart,
not merely tongue,



it tasted like Life. : )




and thats part of my life.



Postato da: DC Darren / 5:24 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.



It is hard to be in love

It is even harder to not be in it.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:18 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the bad month is over.




there was a tarot card game on tele
five cards with the same back named ABCDE
pick one base on your intuition,
and it'll predict hows your november is gonna be

and so,i picked D, D for darren.

the figure is the angel of death

.. .

and i just had a bad november.
she picked D too,
she probably just experienced the worst november in her life..

hm,
but it wasnt tat bad afterall,
yes, i failed my exam for the first time
but at least im still alive and kicking now.

the bad month is over,
if i got the chance to pick a tarot card again
what would it be ?

ah, the bad month is over
here comes december....

the end of the year.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:04 AM
3 watered my tree of thoughts.

toilet lights.


the lights 's flickering
sometimes it feels better to just close my eyes
and stay in the complete darkness of my own world

or ,

just turn the f-- lights off,

pls.


Postato da: DC Darren / 12:23 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

because im a gemini.




I got a great desire to perform on stage
but another part of me doesnt like to be under the limelight

will a performance without audience satisfies my needs?
no dude, this will never happen in ur world.

ah, sometimes i hate myself as a gemini.
but another part of me enjoyed being a gemini.

because im a gemini.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:18 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

why it always rain at nite.





suddenly it started to rain
lovers outside my window leaned on each other
easily evaded the raindrops
holding the warm and wet palm they love
in the iced cold night


the lovers' in rain
inside their heart,
it was warm like they were bathed in sunlight


in the sudden downpour on this beautiful night
the couple didnt get wet.
because they got each other.


Postato da: DC Darren / 9:41 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

blue.


miss Sadness only work at nite

everything will be ok

when the sunlight falls on ur bed next morning

she'll be sleeping

she worked extremly hard ytd

just after i wrote this song

http://www.savefile.com/files/257228



just after i hear ur voice, again.


so, let her sleep

let her rest

so that we can rest too.. .. ..


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:50 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

if only the time moved so slowly can be a lil faster.


can the colour of the night be any darker?
so that others wouldnt see my emptiness written in my eyes
can the town i lived in silent for one more moment?
so that u would hear my heart is crying out softly for your help.

-why do everytime when the darkness fall
i'll lose the feeling of that ure still there for me
why do everytime after i off the lights
the night will swallow me into its blackhole

if only the time which moved so slowly
can be a lil faster in reaching the next sunset
maybe i might see my dear you a lil soooner

but
its too dark that i couldnt find my way back to me
its too silent and i couldnt hear ur footsteps coming closer to me

now i dont know when will the next morning come again
i refuse to open my eyes
i dont wanna ask
i wont speak another word
and ive lost the ability to hear


just when i needed you the most
you wasnt there


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:06 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

road.



anyone still havnt know that
my sense of direction has been lacking?

i got lost in places
in the little city i grown up in
i couldnt find my way to the town
in the place im living in
i turned to the left side
when the right side was on my right side
there's a compass in everybody's head
but mine always loses its function when i needed it the most

is there any medication in this world
to help me with my problem?

but im heading to you now
would you lead me the way to you
so that i can finally safely land on ur heart?

i might lose my self in you.
before the end of the journey.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:42 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

the oldman selling ice-cream on the street.



the old man selling ice cream on the street
does he enjoy being in colourful outfit?
the kid ran over to the oldman
bought an rainbow coloured ice-cream
and then walked away with joy

the old man selling ice cream on the street
has he ever once fell in love with ice cream too?

the oldman selling ice cream on the street
he's selling shortlived happiness on a cheap.
who's buying? who's buying?

the old man selling ice cream on the street
has he ever once fell in love with ice cream too?

hmmm.. i wondered i wondered
and i bought an ice-cream.


Postato da: DC Darren / 6:40 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

notre amo'ur est beau.


if she likes to walk in the rain
do grab a handful of warmth from ur pocket
and give it to her

if she forgets the beauty of the blue cloudy sky
do hold her hand and lie on the grass of green
under the sunlight


love is like an angel behind the mask
she's watching over us.


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:10 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i use the fax machine.


i used to write down those unhappy things on a piece of paper
and then fax it to myself
-
words on the paper need some time to fade away
therefore,
ur pain and sorrow will also fade away
as time goes by
-
until its very very blur
until we can hardly recognize wats written there

and then,
the paper become blank again
-
but it will never be like the same again
-
yellowish.., stained.., and wrinkled
-
it will never be like the same again
there must be some marks on it
more or less
-
there must be some.


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:47 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.




its easy to taste the sweetness,
but everthing means nothing to me

i need a reason to love.


Postato da: DC Darren / 1:36 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

i always believe that if i study hard enough.


i always believe that
if i study hard enough
there's no doubt that i'll be a flat 4 student
not going to the exam hall empty headed
finish up my ink in the exam,(and then raise my hand and ask for extra pen and paper)
writes like shakespear in my literature
and answers like einstein in my maths paper

maybe,
that 's the reason why i wouldnt wanna study
cz if i studied and didnt manage to score
that's when i couldnt accuse my laziness
to be responsible for my (poor)result anymore

then id have nothing else to blame.


Postato da: DC Darren / 4:06 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

over the distance.


pls. just hang up
dont wanna talk anymore
wont wanna let u hear words u wanted to hear
i dont want you to cry on the phone

dont wanna act like a child
reluctant to say goodbye
pls .just hang up
dont say u'll miss me
dont wanna depend too much on the tenderness u give over the telephone line
every seconds that went by thru the telephone line
cuts deeper into my wound

can u hear my heart's bleeding ?

cause i heard yours.


so, pls hang up, just hang up.


Postato da: DC Darren / 11:25 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

raindrops.


its raining again
i hear voices of water
crashes on the roof of a house with 1 car and 4 family members and 1 dog in it
falls on leafs of a tree near the children playground
and then helplessly drips on the ground of the street where we first met
and then flow with the rest of them into the drain beneath


do the rain falls in a line ?
or drop by drop?
like infinite of transparent pearls falling from above
and crashes into pieces again when they meet the ground

when we kiss,
the time will stop for us for that very moment
and everything around us will freeze in motion
and then go turn back to where they began
over and over again.

that's when i can see,
the rain falls drop by drop
like infinite of transparent pearls
sent to us on heaven's name


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:10 AM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

there's a type of pen with invisible ink that only can be seen under the uV lights.


i wrote ur name on my hand.
with invisible ink
that only can be seen under uv lights.
that only can be seen by me myself
that no one elses can see
my beautiful little secret.

can u see ur name on my hand?
its always been there with me

but todae,
i wrote ur name on my hand
with a type of pen with invisible ink that only can be seen under uV lights.
-


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:21 AM
2 watered my tree of thoughts.

for the love ahead of time.


next time when we meet again
pls stop the time from turning back
will u see the feelings
that i tried so hard to hide?
-
dont give me another glance
dont try to tell me you miss me too, with those beautiful eyes
im scared that i couldnt recognize
and i'll fall into the sorrow again, for the umpteen times
-
-
if i love
then turn around and walk away
survive with scattered memories of u beneath the heart of mine
if i love
pls, just turn around and walk away
for the sake of the love ahead of our time
-
-
with myself, ive learnt to be patient
not looking for another you, anywhere else
pls take good care of, the dreams which only time will tell
-
-
-
i whispered to you millions of time inside my head
i Love, i Love,...i Lo.v..e ..
and i smiled and walked away
just walked away
-
-we wait, we pray, we dream.


Postato da: DC Darren / 2:10 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

2.



can i give my body and soul to two different ppl ?
if the soul have to touch the other souls over and over again to understand its perfect mate
y cant the body continue to search for its other half ?
-
-
do u understand?
do you understand that ive understood
when ure not by my side,
i can imagine that ure just right here beside me
the feeling is so real, i can even touch and feel you
ure so close to me, cz ur soul is with me
-
but sometimes when ure with me,
our souls can be so tensed up, and even frozen in ice,
or lingering somewhere else,with someone else

-
-
arent body and soul are meant to be, are supposed to be together ?
how could you broke it into two?
-
-
i'll be waiting for the day when they find each other again.


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:33 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

i still havent found what im looking for.



things i planned to buy
1. Guess watch
2. mp3 player with built-in voice recorder
3. a digital camera

things ive lost recently
1. rm900
2. brown RL t-shirt
3. faith in strangers

things ive get accidentally
1. wooden acoustic guitar
2. lost wallet
3. phone call from a long lost friend
4. paulo coelho - eleven minutes
5. a warning - look deceived everyone else

things im still looking for
1. a light blue tee written number 10
2. ticket to watch a movie
3. idea of baby names (male)
4. time to finish some books
5. reason to love unconditionally


Postato da: DC Darren / 7:59 PM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

the english teacher and the boy in the maths class.


the boy gave his everything in the maths test
but the english teacher,
who knoes nothingNOTHING bout the boy, who knoes nothing bout algebra
asked the maths teacher to fail the boy.
-
she wasnt there when the boy confesses his story,his will and his dream
she'll never see how much effort the boy has put into maths
she forgotten that no one in this world understand the boy better than the maths teacher.
-
-
just because she FELT that the boy' wasnt concentrating in class..
the boy SHOULDN'T continue.
-
she dont know its not easy to be the boy
she dont know the boy prayed everynite.
and the numbers wouldnt go away from his mind
even after he turned off the lights before he goes to bed.
-
hope she'll understand that little things might change the fate of the boy.
who knoes the boy might be the next Einstein.
-
-
he will. :)




look deceives. deceived everyone else..


Postato da: DC Darren / 10:43 AM
1 watered my tree of thoughts.

the staircase of my apartment.


the elevator was out of service
so i used the stairs
the stairs where we used to step on once upon a time
every steps i take
still reminds me of you
the reason why u take the stairs even the elavator is functioning
the staircase lights tat flickers in that night
and the staircase which seemed too narrow for us to walk together
still reminds me,
of us.
-
im back to the staircase again
i want to count every steps i took
i swear i knew what im doing
but the journey seems too long for me to remember all the little reasons that brought me here.
-
-
the staircase in my apartment
it's only 4th floor
but why
it felt like it'll never end
-
sometimes it's like a never ending staircase
i dont know when i'll reach the place i wanted to go
-
-
-- - - - -
one step, two steps, three steps..
-
-
and still going..


Postato da: DC Darren / 8:17 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

Lost & found.


The wallet left behind,
it took me too long to find u missing
away from me , where else could u be ?
lying on the street, not knowing wat to do
still waiting for me to come back to you
or in someone else's pocket?
i begin to panic,
why,
only when ure gone.
-
wallet left behind,
i found it in the other corner of my world
and i took it home again
"phew.." i realived.. "now ure back to me again"
i promise that i'll never let u go again, no.
-
but i was being naive
i should have realise things will never be the same again
no matter how i look at you,
the pocket seems wrinkled no matter from which angle
the colour seems faded away
and
ur heart is missing...
-
i wanna patch things back
want you to come with me like what we did before
wanna replace the bank notes with new one
and act like nothing's happened
-
but why i couldnt understand,
that things will never be the same again?
at least, there will always be a big hole in my bank account.
why i couldnt see
you will never be the same again.
-
-
-
lost and found,
who's the bastard who stole ur heart?
-
-
the wallet once left behind carelessly,
now u're still with me,
i should be happy.
but things will never be the same again.
-
-
-
never


Postato da: DC Darren / 3:33 PM
0 watered my tree of thoughts.

over and over again.


if there's one day
i have to gohav to gohave to go
wouldnt have to live in your uncertainties
i'll still be singing
missing you, missing you, missing you.
-
i could just let it gole t it go l etit go
but everytime when u call when u cal l whenu cal
i just cant hold the urge to say missing youmisisng uoy missing you
-
i'll set u free,altho i cant understand.
i'll give u the keys
to come back to me, or walk out the door, or come back again
knowing