mind.

My psychology class isnt as intresting as i thought it would be.

psychology studies gave me an "magical" impression since i was just a kid. i always wanted to study psychology and be a psychologist. i want to be like some mind reading psycho freak who can really freak ppl out with the ability. like David Blaine.

now the dream seems to fade away because of what im experiencing here in my psychology class.

what i had in mind about psychology:
1. how to distinguish fake and genuine smile. (basic)
2. understand why teens like to watch the OC.
3. mind reading, like i can know someone is thinking of an ice cream or cake just by looking in their eyes. (higher level)
4. how to tell if someone is in love with you simply by observing their movement. (intermediate)
5. if u blink ur eye for more than 26 times in a minute, ure most probably telling a lie.

what i am studying in my psychology class now:
1. human body.
2. diffrent types of perception
3. function of the brain
4. endocrine system
5. major sense, eyesight, hearing, Gustation (taste) etc

i mean, this is kinda intresting, but its boring .(?) i understand it's a basic of studying human being, like if u wanna go diving , first u have to know how to wear all those equipment rite?. and too bad, i got hard time wearing those equiptment. maybe i'll die in the suit even before i got into the water.

* * *

if only i can read your mind,

i wouldnt have to wonder if ure thinking of me, or not.

if only i can read your mind,

u wouldnt have to cry alone in the night. heart broken.

_

_

no..

even if i can read your mind

but i cant win back ur soul. uve given it to him.

even if i can read ur mind

can i ever accept the fact that u never loved me?

even if i can read ur mind

will i ever know where your heart wants to go?

_

_

i'd rather let u read mine

so that u'll see what's inside.

_

_

-mind is just a portion of you.

it's not everything.-

November 30 2005

time;date.

I realize this blog cannot automatically record the date of posting, we have to type the date out manually.

date is important, althought me myself cannot remember the birth date of my own parents till i was aged 19 (opps no, i think ive forgotten my mommy's). but i remember some of my friends'. i remember i wrote my first love letter on the 26th of november, 2002,10.15pm and my first song on the 22nd of october, 2003(time not stated). i remember my birthdate is on the 8th of june, 1986.

we can remember because we recorded it down. not because we remembered.

so now on, i'll put dates in my posts. each blog might be insignificant but i'd like to see dates with them. it's another way to remind myself how fast time is slipping away. like the flow of water in the river.

Ive been reading bout the philosophy of time this weekend. here. u might feel bored or wont even bother with all the complicated and complex explaination about the word TIME but it's really intresting overall. that's when i know the fact that time travelling is actually possible!(nothing is impossible, 5000 years ago human thought it's impossible to solve 6+5 only using ur fingers) .but i think by the time human could actually create a timemachine like Dr. Emmit Brown do in the movie "Back to the Future 1 2 3 4", my great grand children would have already been dead that time.

*( a survey: wat would girl do if they can turn back time?
ans : choose to be single)
just a small survey from a fren of mine, maybe she's just too free =P so what do u think?


anyway..


i'll never say something like "if only i can turn back time".
If time can be turned back, every moment now wouldnt be so precious.




...

p/s : approximately a hundred and forty five seconds slipped away while ure reading this.

Monday November28 2005

nothing special.

blogging is like talking to the wall, with listeners behind it.

wait, im not a superstar or any popular kid in the town, who the heck cares if i ate pasta today or late for a meeting or use darlie to brush my teeth?
but still, peoples blog. they got the desire like anyone else do, they wants to be heard.

well,u placed it there, and now it's their problem whether they wanna read it or not. u dont know whether there's anyone or someone u dont know at all is reading ur blog, tat's y i say listeners are always behind the wall. and till then, u continue talking, and hopefully, you'd be heard like u wanted to be.

-it's just another normal day in my life, nothing special happened that is happening enough to be mention here. tat's when i think, "what if i didnt do anyhting in a long whole day?" like being shackled on my bed and i couldnt do anything for that particular long whole day.

well, i think, as long as my brain is not dead, as long as there's oxygen floating in my room, as long as the sun rises as usual, there will be something to write about.
and
it definitely wont be something tat sounds like this
"im so boring today,i got nothing to do. i slept from 10am till 6 pm on my bed."

...

*the Victoria lake might seems to be a little bit peaceful today, but u can never see wat's happening underneath it.*

Listen to me.

maybe writing is the only way to share my thoughts , i think.

because im useless, helpless if i dont write.
when i dont write, im just another walking corpse with eyes opened.
when i dont write, im just like a man without an identity , feeling unclear about himself, unclear about things happened around him , unclear about love, unclear about ppls. i might get lost in the world of complicated emotions.

so,i know i must write, to live.

izzit happy to write ? i ask myself.

NO, writing only can make ppl feel peaceful, the chaotic type of peaceful. like a foodchain under the sea, like the dark clouds hidden behind the rainbow, like a war under the lovely town. it's a never-ending confusion lies within the beautiful mind of the writer. awakening the nightmare in ur deepest thought while putting them together with the angels in ur soul.
Imagine ure controlling so many things in your writing and in the mean time ure controlled by all the things ure writing bout, at that very moment u fell into a situation, into the world of your imagination, which when this minute it feels like heaven and the next might hurts like hell.

but no matter what the feeling is, certainly it's not meant to be happiness.

I write to record. to put down wat i had in mind ( if only we can do it like Mr.Dumberdoor (x) in Harry Potter). to give my missing soul a softer place to land. and i write, as a prove of my existance.

so no matter wat kinda mood swing brought me here writing today, here i started or should i say CONTINUE writing down my luxurious adventure. the fabulous adventure of my heart & soul.



Darren