wait, wait, wait.

do you hate the feeling of waiting?
been waiting for the past,
and waiting in the present for the future to fall
waiting for the unforeseen to unfold itself
so uncertain, and so unconvincing
u chose to give up or stay up for the uncertainty?
that sometimes seems like an tunnel with no end
waiting can be a form of torture

i hate to wait
but im born with the patience to wait
i waited for the grad photo session
i waited in in lines for hours
i waited for my reply of blood test for days
i waited for my cactus to grow for months
i waited for you, for years.

waiting, everyone around is waiting,
some waited somewhile,
some waited for too long,
while some waiting themselves to give up waiting.

they're all the same,
the followers of waitings,
the slaves of an unforeseen future.

what they can do is only wait,
because no one can fast forward the tick of clock.


so you choose to go home to sleep?
or stay here with me?

leave me alone, guitar.

when i have to keep my eyes on the screen full with words
when i have to lay my fingers on keyboard
when i have to work for hours just to finish up my part of work

the guitar lying quietly on its stand
has turned into a form of distraction

she don't move
she's still
and she dont have to say a word

seducing me wanting herself in my embrace

how to keep my self from falling into her?
oh, the beautiful 6 stringed instrument in my room

stay away, stay away for awhile...

our song - 4:06.

i hate sentimental songs
thats why this sweet song is playing on my winamp, repeating over and over again
its not that im in love
perhaps i want to disguise myself
concealing the truth that im somehow living with some negative thoughts and mood

so,
let me forget the sad melody of kissgoodbye
and temporary live in the sweet tunes of forever love

i'll pretend the story's mine, until the end of the song.

i'm not a star, but i got my pride.

its raining hard out there,
can u hear the voices of pouring rain when u read this line?

im emo-ing here,
can u hear my heart beat when u read this line?
*
*
how many raindrops fell onto places

how many hearts break into pieces

how long have i been living in illusion

how long it took me from dream to realization

how the night with a downpour wet the edge of my passion

and how could i make it through with memories to renaissance.




its raining again. :)
heavy rain always put me in a type of mood even me myself couldn't classify
left me petrified clinging to loneliness,
and yet fortified by my sense of unconsciousness.

that could only be justified by singing it out, saying it out, or writing it out.

i chose the latter.

numbers.

my head wasnt really blank

indeed it was packed with stuffs that i dont need
the ink of the pen that i was i holding awaiting to be released
i stare on the paper filled with strange lines and writings

what strange?
it is because all out of a sudden i couldnt recognize a word on it
they were numbers,
numbers that ive been taught
since the day when parents decided that im old enough to be taught
numbers that im so familiar with yet hated for
numbers that caused confusions when it is put together
and more confusions when I have to put them together

3 ? 7 ?2 ? 8? how did somebody created those thing?
suddenly i gazed at the number like that is the first time im shown to it.
im like an newborn infant
the shape is so weird, y it is 8 shaped like this "oo" ?


the closer i look into it
the further away i'll be from my sense of logic


I'm LOST, IN the numbers On my maths paper.

hug.

give me a hug.
and ull warm my heart

shred away the doubts
and distance apart

give me a hug
worth more than a thousand bucks

i need a hug
in the night so dark.

thursday night.

i turned off the tv
i turned off the lights
the world is still moving

i refuse to write
i refuse to paint
there'll still be millions of thoughts waiting to be expressed

i dont see
i dont hear a thing
but it never change the fact that refuses to become a history

things that conceal it self from what bare eyes could see
never really went away.

it has been always there.

is it goin to rain?

is it goin to rain?

the weather report says its gonna rain
but its now evening and there's not a drop of rain yet
i always wondered what would they do if they're prediction is not accurate
cz it always seemed like no one give a damn anyway
they'll just forget bout it ,isnt?

my sixth sense says its not gonna rain!
but outside my window the sky is so dark that anyone would say a storm is coming
but my logical mind battled with the instinct that has been inaccurate lately
but even if it doenst rain later, who will give a damn bout my prediction anyway?
they'll just forget about it, isnt ?


neither the weather report nor my intuition can be relied on
but if i were to choose one,
i'd choose the latter.

hehe.

the weather in this small little town i lived in is so unpredictable
things are always that unpredictable. aren't they ?